“Every person is the creation of himself, the image of his own thinking and believing. As individuals think and believe, so they are.” –Claude M Bristol
A Little Bird Said Otherwise
After cropping, sharpening and enhancing the photo of a yellow-headed blackbird I took at Lake Walcott State, this turned out not to be too bad a shot. Most of my bird photos don’t come out half as good. — Photo by Pat Bean
When I was young, slender, wrinkle and sag free, I thought I was ugly. Today, I look at pictures from my past and realize, while perhaps not beautiful, I was pretty damn good-looking. And I have a few minutes of regret that I didn’t appreciate it way back when.
Today, I’m overweight, with a flabby soft belly and crow lines – I prefer to call them laugh lines – all over my face. And I’ve come to love my body because it has given me years of good service and is still going.
Lately, I’ve been thinking I’m a horrible artist. Nothing turns out like I imagine it in my head. What got me thinking about this was my inability to take decent bird photos. Of course that’s my choice. I’m a writer, not a photographer.
No. 1, don’t want to invest in the equipment necessary to capture birds in their rare moments from a distance. And No. 2, I don’t want to spend a lot of time looking at the world from behind a lens, which is what photographers have to do, and hopefully love to do as much as I love to write.
While not heavily detailed, I decided I also liked my artistic interpretaion of the yellow-headed blackbird. Perhaps I will use more of my bird art to go with my blog in the future. — Illustration by Pat Bean.
So why not, I’ve been asking myself for a couple of years, illustrate my bird blogs with some of my art work. Because you’re not good enough, my brain tells me. Art is one of my hobbies, and I’ve never wanted it to be more.
But this morning, when I was actually looking for a sketch I knew I had done of a killdeer imitating a broken wing to lead danger away from their nests (which I couldn’t find), because that’s what the killdeer here at Lake Walcott have been doing ever since I arrived here, I re-evaluated my bird art.
While I’m certainly never going to give professional artists cause for concern, my quick sketches and watercolors weren’t all that bad. It was like taking a second look at photos of myself from the advantage of being an old broad. And I liked what I saw.
Bean’s Pat: http://www.geezersisters.com/ About West Texas, where evidently there are no possums. Great web site. Blog pick of the day from this wandering wonderer.
Pat Bean's blog 
We’re often very hard on ourselves. You’ve illustrated the killdeer well, in my opinion. Now, I know what one looks like. Keep illustrating what you love. If you’re not happy now. You’ll only get better.
Got a good belly laugh from that one. It’s a yellow-headed blackbird illustration.
Your bird painting is quite good, Pat. Keep painting.
Thanks Bob.
Your yellow-headed blackbird illustration is beautiful, and certainly better than anything I can do by hand. I know what you mean about looking back and realizing things aren’t as bad as you thought they were at the time. I wonder why it takes age and distance to start appreciating who and what we are, as well as our talents.
Thanks Robin. It really is too bad that it takes us so long to appreciate ourselves. I’m part of a writing circle chat group that brags on itself once a week. It took me almost a year before I could join in. When I finally did, it felt really good.
It’s good to know you are enjoying what you do, for the pleasure it brings you. And others as well, I always enjoy stopping to see what pictures and ideas are floating around your writing.
Jim
Thanks, and ditto.
We are our own worst critics I think – I love your photo and your painting.
Thanks. Hug Sassafras for me. She my favorite of all your pets.
Great picture
drop the critic off in the next town you come to
and don’t look back in the rear-view!
🙂
Better yet, off a ship in the middle of the deep. I don’t want him hooking up with anybody else. Thanks Nancilynn.
So get what you are sharing. It is never too late to appreciate ourselves. While you are a wonderful writer I enjoy your photos and had no idea you were drawing. I love that. Go for it, girl.
Thanks Kristi. I’m going!
That “i am not good enough” tape runs in my head and it has had years of playing but I recognize it now and bomb it with positive thought. Love the sketch of the yellow-headed blackbird.
Thanks Mountain Mae. Let’s bury that “not good enough” deep and forever.
I love your artistic interpretation of the yellow-headed blackbird, and would love to see your artwork in your posts. I think what matters more than talent or technique is that whatever you do is heartfelt and for your own pleasure. For me, that is how I approach blogging 🙂
Thanks EllaDee. As i intend to do a lot more blogs on birds while I’m here at Lake Walcott, I think you’ll get your wish. Thanks for following my journeys.
Please include your artwork on your blog. I remember thinking about posting my first work of fiction and hearing that voice saying “You’re no good.” But my goal is not to show readers that I’m good. It’s to show that I enjoy my craft. And I’ve received tips from those who are “good,” which has been helpful as I grow as a writer. It’s a win-win! Hope that helps, and I can’t wait to see more of your art.
Thanks for the great words of encouragement Darla.
Keep writing … Pat Bean https://patbean.wordpress.com
Not “going to give professional artists cause for concern” my behind! Your art is beautiful, and far, far better (definitely more realistic) than some of the things I’ve seen in galleries over the years. Don’t sell yourself short!
You are too knd Evie. i