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Posts Tagged ‘writing’

I Don’t Wanna!

Posted in aging, Art, Birds, Journeys, Writing, tagged , , , on November 8, 2024| 5 Comments »

I’d rather be birdwatching!

Aging My Way

“It’s good that at 85 you can still do the techie stuff,” my granddaughter Shanna complimented me the other day when I was telling her that my Roomba was misbehaving and that I had been texted a link to a YouTube video that would show me how to fix it.

I was tempted to say “But I don’t wanna? Have I mentioned how much I hate doing techie stuff. Still, I was pleased that my granddaughter thought me so capable – but even more appreciative when her wife Dawn fixed the Roomba.

I love technology, but all I want to know is which button do I push,

I was blessed with that before I retired, as there was always someone around to fix my technical problems. Since I’ve never been afraid to push a button, I sometimes even created those problems myself. That’s probably why when I went to find an IT specialist and they saw me approaching, they usually exclaimed: “Ohhh. Here comes trouble.”

But not having those helpful specialists around these days makes me want to go back to work – well, almost.

Meanwhile, my loved ones and friends mostly take care of my technical problems. Of course they’re not always available. What happens then is that I spend four hours figuring things out for myself instead of a techie taking 10 minutes to do the same thing.

The silver lining, however, is that when I finally fix whatever techie thing went wrong, I do feel pretty proud of myself –and I like that feeling.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, staff writer for the Story Circle Network Journal, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon and is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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Keep Moving – And Writing

Posted in aging, Art, Books, Journeys, Writing, tagged , , , on September 25, 2024| 1 Comment »

Life is full of flowers so keep moving and enjoying them. Art by Pat Bean

Aging My Way

My fight to make my days meaningful during these latter pages of my life, which is already a long book, paused for a bit this past week. While I can fight to keep my own self moving, I had to come to grips with the fact that I can’t do it for others, no matter how much I desire to do so.

A feeling of helplessness when a loved one attempted suicide caused me to pause doing the one thing that for more than 50 years has given meaning to my life. I stopped my daily writing, including journaling. What does it matter? I thought.

To be truthful, this wasn’t the first time I had stopped writing, especially when hard times hit. But my job back then as a newspaper reporter kept me writing, if not journaling. And my busy, active, engaged with life world meant I didn’t miss, or even notice, that I had stopped any writing in my journals.

What’s different now is that at 85, my days are my own to fill. And since I can no longer dance through them playing tennis, white-water-rafting the Snake, hiking new terrain, or working at a job I love, writing has become more meaningful.

Being a writer is an honor, a title I was reluctant to even claim until I finally published a book. Now living in a world so different from the world I was born into, has filled me with stories I want my children and children’s children – and if I were honest, the world – to know.

These latter years have given me time to connect the dots of my life. And perhaps there is a person or two out there who can learn from my mistakes, or that it’s OK to follow their dreams, or to realize they are not alone in who they are or how they think.

Others’ words do that for me. Like those from Maggie Smith, whose book Keep Moving, I picked up, not for the first time, again this morning.

The title of her book says it all. Keep moving. I intend to do just that, and hope with all my heart that my loved one will do so as well.

I also intend to keep writing. Perhaps that second book that still resides within me will finally decide to come alive.    

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, staff writer for the Story Circle Network Journal, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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The Hare and the Tortoise

Posted in aging, Art, Dogs, Journeys, Writing, tagged , , , , , on July 24, 2024| 3 Comments »

“Some of my much older friends have 10 doctors or more, like an overeducated friend community. I have only six so far. But time lurches on, and the reality is that, before too long, I will have 10 as well. Until then, the point of life is gratitude, modest miseries aside. And gratitude is joy. – Anne Lamott, from a recent Washington Post essay/ https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2024/07/01/joy-age-life-lamott/

Aging My Way

I became a big fan of Lamott after reading her book, Bird by Bird – many years ago. I guess you could say she and I are of an age, even though my doctor collection so far is only four: primary, cardiologist, pain and orthopedic. But I do have a new knee and three heart stents, which has my friends referring to me as the Bionic Woman.

It’s just too bad I don’t have the implied powers that go with the title. This hare, who for most of her life raced through life, always afraid of missing out on something, has turned into a tortoise.

It’s actually not a bad pace. I’ve come to appreciate the benefits of having more time for reflection of this beautiful, albeit crazy and at time sordid, world. I have more time to read, piddle with my art, write and connect with the meaningful people in my life. And I still wake each morning with zest for what a new day will bring, and thankful for my canine companion Scamp, whose morning walks grease my achy joints for the day ahead.

I’m glad I was a hare, but now I’m just as happy being the tortoise.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, staff writer for the Story Circle Network Journal, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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Getting Unstuck

Posted in aging, Art, Books, Journeys, Writing, tagged , , , , on June 12, 2024| 3 Comments »

Having writer’s block is like being stuck up a tree with no way to get down. — Art by Pat Bean

The Write Words

I moderate a small email chat group called Writer2Writer for Story Circle Network. Recently I asked participants to name their favorite author and then write about why.

I started the chat off by quoting Mary Oliver, one of my favorite authors, whose instructions for living a life is to “Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.” And since Mary was an American poet who won the National Book Award and the Pulitzer Prize, when Mary said tell, I’m sure she meant write about it. The words responded with me because that’s what I’ve been trying to do for most of my life.

But lately, I’ve been rather stuck. And that leads me to comment on a response to my writing prompt. It was from Stephanie Raffelock, who wrote: “A battered, dog eared, highlighted and underlined copy of May Sarton’s Journal of a Solitude sits on the table next to my chair. I can quote the opening line without opening the book: “Begin here. It is raining.” 

“Such simple lines,” wrote Stephanie. “Crisp and real. Who knew that they would lead to years of journals, which in turn would lead to a first short story and later, essays. Begin here. That’s all I have to do to start writing on any day,” said my writing colleague.

And those words from Mary, Stephanie and May were exactly what I needed to get unstuck. I immediately sat down and filled a couple of pages in my current journal, and then started writing this blog.

Thank you, Mary, Stephanie and May.  

So, who, my treasured readers, is your favorite author and why?

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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Learning to Be More Gracious

Posted in aging, Art, Journeys, Writing, tagged , , , , on June 9, 2024| 3 Comments »

Art by Pat Bean

Aging My Way

On March 31, three days after I suffered a heart attack, the entry in my journal reads Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! The words were written by my granddaughter Shanna because I was hooked up to medical paraphernalia. As an afterthought, she noted that I was in Room 516 at Tucson Medical Center. And I should note that just 11 days earlier, I had a total knee replacement.

The next entry in my journal wasn’t made until May 14, when I recorded a quote from North Woods, the book by Daniel Mason that I was reading at the time. The quote, “Love made the old do the same dumb things as the young.” The words hit home with me because of having seen – and done – just that behavior during my 85-year journey through life.

The next thoughts, which went through my little gray cells after once again posting in my journal, was that not writing about the bad and scary after-effects of my heart attack was a familiar pattern. The many journals that I have kept for over 50 years contain mostly pleasant thoughts and good times.

To my way of thinking, this behavior isn’t altogether wrong, well except for a couple of times in my life when I needed to actually accept a bad situation and move on from it. One of those times was a lengthy period in the late 1970s when the door of the skeleton closet, in which I had shoved over 20 years of unpleasant happenings, burst open.

It took me a year to live through that episode before coming out a happier, more fulfilled person, one ready to grab all the gusto life had to offer, but also fiercely independent believing I didn’t need anyone to take care of me but me. This false notion was flung into the garbage bin when I recently learned that my granddaughter Shanna and her wife Dawn, who live next door to me and who were there for me during my knee replacement and three heart surgeries, were keeping their phones on at night in case of an emergency call from me.

Shit, shit, shit. I cried for three days before finally accepting that I should be more grateful for their love and care then being upset that I wasn’t living up to my own independent expectations.        

So why am I writing about this. Well, it’s just what writers do — and because the focus of my recent blogs has been about aging – and that’s what I’m currently doing. While I’ve always felt blessed that Shanna and Dawn were nearby, graciously accepting their help, and that of others, hasn’t been easy for me.

But I’m learning.

Meanwhile, my life is still good, and I’m going to focus on that – and be grateful for all the good things my journals have recorded.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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A Manta for Writers

Posted in Journeys, The Write Words, tagged , on November 1, 2020| 4 Comments »

It’s is better to sit on my balcony watching the sun go down each night knowing that my butt was sitting down writing earlier in the day. — Photo my Dawn Lee, who enjoyed the sunset with me and my granddaughter this past week.

          “Writing is like driving at night in the fog. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.” – E.L. Doctorow

The Write Words

          When I write, truly write with focus, without interruptions or editing, I amaze myself with how many words end up on the page. When I do this, my fingers on the keyboard often go places my brain hasn’t yet reached.

          And after I have written, be it a blog, a freelance profile, an essay, or a bit more on my memoir, which has been languishing untouched for way too long, I come away with a great sense of achievement. Writing makes me feel good about myself, even if the writing is just for myself.

But physically sitting myself down in front of a keyboard, butt in chair as writers call it, is a daily struggle. This is the reason why these first words of a blog titled Rantings of a Third Kind sang so true to me this morning:

 “I am writing, I am writing, I am so totally writing! This is the mantra, I am always reciting. But, it so damned hard, as my mind is against me fighting…”

 I signed up six times for NaNoWriMo – which stands for National Novel Writing Month, a free program to help writers complete a 50,000-word novel in 30 days– and dropped out the first five times before actually getting a certificate of completion for my final effort.

November is NaNo Month, by the way, and the program began today. You can check it out at: https://nanowrimo.org/

My daughter, Deborah, is attempting the program this year. I, however, have just vowed to spend at least 30 minutes every day writing. I started my goal at the beginning of the week, and it was easy as rolling downhill — until today when I started coming up with every excuse in the book why I didn’t need to write on a Sunday.  

          But then I read the Rantings of a Third Kind blog and picked up the author’s mantra:  I am writing, I am writing, I am so totally writing!

          Bean Pat: A writer who struggles as I do. https://gunroswell.wpcomstaging.com/2020/11/01/on-my-sunday-seat-i-do-write/

          Pat Bean is a retired journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is a wondering-wanderer, avid reader, enthusiastic birder, Lonely Planet Community Pathfinder, Story Circle Network board member, author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon, and is always searching for life’s silver lining.

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Writing and Music

Posted in Books, Journeys, The Write Words, tagged , , on October 1, 2019| Leave a Comment »

Pure fakery fun! Me in 2012 standing on The Circle in the Grand Ole Opry House during the last of my RV-ing years. 

“What really knocks me out is a book that, when you’re all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours.” — J.D. Salinger

The Write Words

          Author Dani Shapiro compares writing to music.

“When you have written something … listen to it,” she says in Still Writing, which Terry Tempest Williams calls “a wise, pragmatic soulful guide to the writing life.”

“What instrument does your language call to mind? A cello? An electric guitar? An oboe?“ Dani asks.

Hmmm!

Dani’s words, of course, made me ask what instrument my writing calls to mind. I’m not a musical person so coming up with an answer took a good bit of thought.

First drafts, definitely a fiddle, I finally decided. If the editing goes well, and my efforts to make my words sing succeeds, perhaps a flute. It would be nice to feel like my writing floats harmoniously across the page.

But then I realized I also wanted my writing to have a drummer lounging in the background, one who sounds off enough to echo the beat of myself walking to Thoreau’s different pace.

It was a fun question to answer, perhaps because there were no right or wrong answers.

Bean Pat: Top 10 of the Decade https://lithub.com/the-10-best-debut-novels-of-the-decade/ Lit Hub’s choices. I find I usually agree with only half of any such lists, but these books are worth checking out if you’re looking for something to read.

Pat Bean is a retired journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is a wondering-wanderer, avid reader, enthusiastic birder, Lonely Planet Community Pathfinder, Story Circle Network board member, author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon, and is always searching for life’s silver lining.

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In My Mind’s Eye by Jan Morris

Posted in Books, Journeys, Uncategorized, tagged , , on September 30, 2019| 1 Comment »

I’m currently reading this book — and loving it.

          “A love of books, of holding a book, turning its pages, looking at its pictures, and living its fascinating stories goes hand-in-hand with a love of learning.” – Laura Bush

What I’m Reading

          I’m reading In My Mind’s Eye, a collection of short essays written by Welch author Jan Morris when she was in her nineties. Jan is one of my favorite authors, and I’m loving her unvarnished look at the world through the lens of age.

Dr. Johnson’s Dicitionary, first published in the 18th century is still lurking around in book stores.

Jan, who was once James and served in the military and climbed Mount Everest in the 1950’s, has written almost too many travel and history books to count. In My Mind’s Eye is a kind of daily diary, however. Topics range from talking to your cat to her idea of a smile test.

On Day 59 in the book, Jan talks about looking through her vast collection of books for Dr. Johnson’s dictionary, fifth edition, 1788. As he picks up the book, Jan notices the damage on the spine and remembers that it was put there by her “darling daughter,” 50 years ago when her pram was parked by the bookcase.

Who in the heck is Dr. Johnson? I stopped reading and looked him up. He was Samuel Johnson, considered one of the best writers of the 18th Century, and best known for his Dictionary of the English Language. I love reading a book in which I learn something new.

Meanwhile, another of my favorite days in Jan’s book is the one in which she rewrote the words to the battle hymn Onward Christian Soldiers.

“Onward friends and neighbors, into the kindly sun,

          Where we are paid-up members, each and every one.

          We need no theologians, no doctrinal guff,

          No military idioms, no sham repentance stuff –

          We take the worthy with the nasty, the gentle with the rough.

          The absolute of absolutes. Kindness is enough.!”

Kindness is my word for the year.

  Bean Pat: To all the many, many authors who have challenged my mind and broadened my horizons.

Pat Bean is a retired journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is a wondering-wanderer, avid reader, enthusiastic birder, Lonely Planet Community Pathfinder, Story Circle Network board member, author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon, and is always searching for life’s silver lining.

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Why Keep on Keeping On?

Posted in Journeys, Writing, tagged , , on July 24, 2014| 4 Comments »

      

I feel like the past nine days have been like a storm on the horizon keeping me holed up inside of myself. -- Photo by Pat Bean

I feel like the past nine days have been  a storm on the horizon that has kept me holed up inside of myself. — Photo by Pat Bean

So Many Questions, Only One Answer

            My goal for this year was to post three times a week. Mostly I met it, and even sometimes exceeded it. But it’s been nine days since I posted on this blog. Nine unproductive days in which I have done nothing that gave me a sense of achievement.

It feels good to have weathered that storm, and to once again be on the path I chose for myself. While I've thought about other paths, they aren't the ones that sustain me. -- Photo by Pat Bean

It feels good to have weathered that storm, and to once again be on the path I chose for myself. While I’ve thought about other paths, they aren’t the ones that sustain me. — Photo by Pat Bean

Now I’m asking myself why I keep on keeping on. Why do I continue to struggle to get my book, “Travels with Maggie,” published? Why do I continue to send out my travel articles and other essays to markets when I get more rejections than acceptances? Why do feel I must write every day?

I think about giving it all up, simply living this third trimester of my life lazing about. I would have to be quite frugal, but I’ve done that all my life. I long ago realized money is nice to have, but has nothing to do with happiness.

The truth is, my past nine days of lazing about morphed the happy person I’ve always been into someone I suddenly didn’t know, or particularly like.

Now, however, as I ponder these questions in the way I do best – with my fingers on my computer in front of a blank page – I find myself smiling. It feels amazing and wonderful to once again be the person I have come to know and love.

I guess that’s my answer to why I keep on keeping on.

Blog pick of the day.

Blog pick of the day.

Bean Pat: To Girls of all Age http://tinyurl.com/ld44qas I love this message. It touched my soul.

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Travels with Maggie

Posted in Journeys, Travels With Maggie, Writing, tagged , , , on May 27, 2014| 3 Comments »

            “Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book.” — Cicero, 106-43 BC

Maggie, sadly, has left this world. I couldn't, however, have had a better companion to explore this country with than this spoiled brat -- and I say that lovingly, and all who knew her would agree with the description. -- Photo by Pat Bean

Maggie, sadly, has left this world. I couldn’t, however, have had a better companion to explore this country with than this spoiled brat — and I say that lovingly, and all who knew her would agree with the description. — Photo by Pat Bean

Step by Step

I laughed out loud when I read the above quote, which started off a recent Blood Red Pencil blog http://tinyurl.com/m33au3r  that I often read because it usually has a lot of good advice about writing.

Gypsy Lee, Me and Maggie's home for eight years. Pepper was my companion for the final year of my living on the road life style. -- Photo by Pat Bean

Gypsy Lee, Me and Maggie’s home for eight years. Pepper was my companion for the final year of my living on the road life style. — Photo by Pat Bean

Today’s was especially meaningful, as I have completed my book, “Travels with Maggie,” and now want to self-publish it. I’ve not been doing anything toward this goal for the past six weeks, sort of like that person who is just one class short of earning a college degree, but then drops out of school.

Come to think of it, I have two other books I’ve written that went no farther than a first draft. “Travels with Maggie,” however, has now had three rewrites, and I feel good about the content

So I’m going to take the advice given in the Blood-Red Pencil blog to do one thing every day toward getting my book published and marketed. Actually this is a pretty good goal for any project.

Blog pick of the day.

Blog pick of the day.

Bean Pat: The Wanderlust Gene http://tinyurl.com/nx9qv3m  If you love trees, you’ll love this blog.

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