I feel like the past nine days have been a storm on the horizon that has kept me holed up inside of myself. — Photo by Pat Bean
So Many Questions, Only One Answer
My goal for this year was to post three times a week. Mostly I met it, and even sometimes exceeded it. But it’s been nine days since I posted on this blog. Nine unproductive days in which I have done nothing that gave me a sense of achievement.
It feels good to have weathered that storm, and to once again be on the path I chose for myself. While I’ve thought about other paths, they aren’t the ones that sustain me. — Photo by Pat Bean
Now I’m asking myself why I keep on keeping on. Why do I continue to struggle to get my book, “Travels with Maggie,” published? Why do I continue to send out my travel articles and other essays to markets when I get more rejections than acceptances? Why do feel I must write every day?
I think about giving it all up, simply living this third trimester of my life lazing about. I would have to be quite frugal, but I’ve done that all my life. I long ago realized money is nice to have, but has nothing to do with happiness.
The truth is, my past nine days of lazing about morphed the happy person I’ve always been into someone I suddenly didn’t know, or particularly like.
Now, however, as I ponder these questions in the way I do best – with my fingers on my computer in front of a blank page – I find myself smiling. It feels amazing and wonderful to once again be the person I have come to know and love.
I guess that’s my answer to why I keep on keeping on.
Blog pick of the day.
Bean Pat: To Girls of all Age http://tinyurl.com/ld44qas I love this message. It touched my soul.
Pat Bean's blog 
It is interesting to read that your writing is what makes you who you are, and that it makes you happy.
Every time I’ve wondered if I’m on the right track, the answer is always the same. When it comes to writing, it’s a resounding yes. Now about other things, the answer is not so clear. Thanks for commenting Colline. I appreciated your thoughts.
I can be lazy at times, very lazy. I’m also very easily distracted. While I greatly enjoy relaxing, or running off on a tangent, I find that the longer I remain unproductive, the more difficult it is to get back on track, and the more badly I feel about it. I have to remind myself that this lazy person isn’t me, and once I remember who I am – yep – just as you wrote – along comes the smile and the want to get back to who I am.
Isn’t it great that we’ve found the things in life that make us smile. It makes me grateful every morning when I wake up knowing that I have things I want to do — even if sometimes I don’t do them. Thanks for commenting my friend –whose brain seems to be hot-wired similar to mind.