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Posts Tagged ‘moms’

Days Past Live on in My Memories

Posted in aging, Journeys, Uncategorized, tagged , on March 17, 2026| Leave a Comment »

One of the last photos taken of my Mom. We bundled her up so she could sit around a campfire with us at Zion. — Photo by Pat Bean

Aging My Way

“Memory… is the diary that we all carry about with us.” – Oscar Wilde

Twenty-eight years ago, on a Friday the 13th, I held my mother’s hand as she took her last breath. Four days later, on a St. Patrick’s Day – like today – a small memorial for family and friends was held for her. Only her ashes, contained in a decorative urn and taking a prominent place in the room, were there with us.

Reliving that day in my mind, I see all of us present, at one time or another, throwing a kiss toward that urn. The symbolic action was started by the first speaker, one of her grandsons, who threw the kiss toward her contained ashes after ending his remarks.

My mother had green eyes and green was her favorite color, and in her honor, I wore a bright green blazer with a green skirt for the memorial. The memory of that day remains fresh in my mind, perhaps more colorful and fresher than it appeared to me when it was happening because back then my emotions were in charge of my brain.

Such, in the same way it seems to me, are so many other moments collected during my eight plus decades of life on this planet.

I’ll see a photo of an osprey, and suddenly I’m back beside the Snake River below Jackson Hole once again watching an osprey snatch a fish out of the water and fly up to a tall tree. It’s almost as if I can see details that I missed when it was happening.

Thankfully, most of the vivid memories that pop into my head are good ones. But even remembering my mother’s death and memorial isn’t so bad. I still miss her, but seeing her again, even if it’s only in my mind, gives me a sense of comfort. It’s like she has stopped in for a short visit.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion Scamp. She is an avid reader whose mind is always asking questions (many of which are unanswerable), an enthusiastic birder, staff writer for Story Circle Network’s Journal, author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), and is always searching for life’s silver lining.

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Easter Morning Thoughts

Posted in Journeys, tagged , on April 5, 2015| 4 Comments »

“A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.”  ~Tenneva Jordan

Mother became a Dr. Pepper woman in her later years. She had a beer at 10, 2 and 4 o'clock. This picture was taken a couple of years before she died when I took her on a family camping trip to Zion National Park. She sat around the campfire with us, but then I took her to a nearby motel to spend the night in comfort. I love you, Mom. -- Photo by Pat Bean

Mother became a Dr. Pepper woman in her later years. She had a beer at 10, 2 and 4 o’clock. This picture was taken a couple of years before she died when I took her on a family camping trip to Zion National Park. She sat around the campfire with us, but then I took her to a nearby motel to spend the night in comfort. I love you, Mom. — Photo by Pat Bean

My Mother

I’ve recently been thinking a lot about my mother. While I truly hated her growing up, she and I reconciled in my 30s — when I finally understood what a strong, courageous woman she was.

I was holding her hand when she took her last breath in my home, and am so thankful I had that precious moment.

The thoughts that flew through my head on this Easter morning was how important it was for her, when we were so very poor, that we kids all had new clothes for Easter. She, however, never had anything new.

She died in 1999, but I still miss her.

            Bean’s Pat: Interesting Literature http://tinyurl.com/orbw97w  The Devil’s Dictionary. This blog is a fun read for all those who love books.

 

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Characters

Posted in Books, Journeys, Uncategorized, Writing, tagged , , on May 20, 2014| 3 Comments »

“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing

“Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.” – Albert Einstein

My mother riding on the back of my brother's motorcycle when she was in her 70s. She was a real character, worthy of being a role mode for my fictional characters.

My mother riding on the back of my brother’s motorcycle when she was in her 70s. She was a real character, worthy of being a role model for my fictional characters.

Thinking About Creating Them

Back in my early teen years, I thought the way to be liked was to be nice and smile all the time. And it worked. But over the years, it turned me into a thin character, one whom people may have liked, but gained me little respect.

I love Maxine's character. Don't you?

I love Maxine’s character. Don’t you?

It took my mother, a feisty, plain spoken, quick-tempered, cigarette smoking (until she quit cold turkey at the age of 76 because the “damn” things became too expensive), to make me look at things differently. My kids adored her, and I had to wonder why.

It was her rough edges. And so, while I’m still nice and do smile

One of my favorite characters was Molly Ivins Now that's whom I would like to grow up to be.

One of my favorite characters was Molly Ivins Now that’s whom I would like to grow up to be.

a lot, I began to let the imperfect edges of my character leak out. I liked it – and evidently so did others because I gained more friends, and one of the nicest compliments I ever received was from a younger friend who told everyone “I want to be just like Pat Bean when I grow up.”

Currently I’m involved in a writing project with my oldest daughter, Deborah. After attending a writing workshop together,about the value of writing 20 minutes a day that Len Leatherwood taught during the Story Circle Network conference in Austin last month, we are both doing just that. Her project is a fantasy book that she has been playing around with for years. Mine is also a fantasy book that I’m making up as I go.

To keep us on track, we’ve established a slackers’ jar that is collecting quarters, one for each day one of us doesn’t write on our projects for 20 minutes a day. So far I’ve contributed a $1 to the jar, and my daughter only one quarter. She is also writing more in her 20 minutes a day than I am.

Right now I’m stuck on giving my characters character – the same way I was stuck for far too many years giving myself one. Ouch!

Blog pick of the day.

Blog pick of the day.

Bean Pat: 20 Minutes a Day http://lenleatherwood.wordpress.com/ Thought you might want to see Len’s blog after I mentioned her. She mostly sits down at the end of her long days and writes whatever pops into her head.. It’s kind of a public diary, but I’ve gotten inspiration from many of those blogs. She is also an illustration, compared to me who must write early in the day or I don’t write, of how different writers write.

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