Aging My Way
“Over the past twelve years I have learned that a tree needs space to grow, that coyotes sing down by the creek in January, that I can drive a nail into oak only when it is green, that bees know more about making honey than I do, that love can become sadness, and that there are more questions than answers.”—Sue Hubbell, A Country Year: Living the Questions.
These words in the opening of Sue’s book, not only made me want to read more of her words, but also made me question what I have learned the past 438 days. That’s how long since I suffered a major heart attack. Although thanks to modern medicine, a good cardiologist and three stents later, I am in much better health than I was before, it was still a life-changing event.
The biggest thing I learned was that I didn’t fancy at all being taken care of. I acted, sometimes still do, like a two-year-old stamping her feet and saying: “I can do it myself.”
The second thing I learned is that I’m loved, because loved ones have been with me every step of the past 438 days. No one could be more blessed than this, and despite my continued feet stomping I am beyond thankful.
This said, Sue’s words resonated with me in another way. It’s about the tree.
Since I moved into my current apartment almost three years ago, the cottonwood tree in my small patio yard has grown more majestic. As I stared at it this morning, I wondered if my love for it had been the fertilizer because nothing else has changed.
But now, because of its spreading roots, which are destroying my gate and fence, I may lose it. Just the thought brings wetness to my eyes. Sue nailed it when she said love can become sadness.
Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion Scamp. She is an avid reader whose mind is always asking questions (many of which are unanswerable), an enthusiastic birder, staff writer for Story Circle Network’s Journal, author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), and is always searching for life’s silver lining. She also believes one is never too old to chase a dream.
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