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Do You Like Yourself?

October 7, 2015 by Pat Bean

Life is like a winding river with surprises around every bend. Sometime the river is calm .. Photo by Pat Bean

Life is like a winding river with surprises around every bend. Sometime the river is calm … Photo by Pat Bean

“Loving oneself isn’t hard when you understand who and what yourself is. It has nothing to do with the shape of your face, the size of your eyes the length of your hair or the quality of your clothes. It’s so beyond all of those things and it’s what gives life to everything about you. Your own self is a treasure.” – Phylicia Rashad

I Do! I Do!

            Vivian Swift, in her book,When Wanderer Cease to Roam,” remembers back to a time when as a 21-year-old she and her then boyfriend, who met in Paris, were absolutely positive they were never going to be anything like their parents.

And sometimes you're just lucky not to have drowned.

… and sometimes you’re just lucky not to have drowned.

The boyfriend became a lawyer, settled down, married, had two kids and they all wear matching outfits for their annual Christmas card photos; Vivian settled down in a small Long Island Village with five cats, and admits that she heard the little girl next door call her the cat lady.

“Our 21-year-old selves would hate us,” she wrote, which of course got me thinking about my own 21-year-old self. I decided that insecure, barefoot and pregnant girl whose primary goal in life was for everyone to like her, would love the assertive, old broad she became. The truth is I didn’t even like myself when I was 21. But I do love the plump, sagging old broad I am at 76.

The years haven’t always been good to me, but they’ve certainly been good for me.

Blog pick of the day. Check it out.

Blog pick of the day. Check it out.

Bean Pat: Lessons on Becoming Xena http://tinyurl.com/nfkc5vv This is a Story Circle Network blog. The organization is the best writing support I’ve ever had. Check it out at: http://tinyurl.com/kn5bbrl

 

Posted in Books, Journeys | Tagged , | 4 Comments »

Working Dreams

September 27, 2015 by Pat Bean

            “Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life.” – Confucious

During my journalistic career, I wrote thousands of stories some of which I kept, like this one about the Utah Air National Guard encouraging women to join up For this assignment, I got to ride in a refueling tanker and watch over a crewman's shoulder as he refilled an F-16. And on the way back, we flew over the Grand Canyon. Did I mention how much I loved my job.

During my journalistic career, I wrote thousands of stories some of which I kept, like this one about the Utah Air National Guard encouraging women to join up For this assignment, I got to ride in a refueling tanker and watch over a crewman’s shoulder as he refilled an F-16. And on the way back, we flew over the Grand Canyon. Did I mention how much I loved my job.

My Latest Dream was No Fun

It is not uncommon for me to step back in time to my newspaper journalism days in my dreams. Most often I find myself chasing a story, overcoming obstacles to obtain all the facts, then rushing to get it written before deadline.

Sometimes I wake up before the story is complete, which annoys me. I even try to go back to sleep so I can finish the task. I took Confucious’ advice and did find a job I loved.

 

Other assignments that were special to me were the times I got to write about good people, like this one about Paul Rokich, who was known as the Johnny Appleseed of the Ouirrh Mountains.

Other assignments that were special to me were the times I got to write about good people, like this one about Paul Rokich, who was known as the Johnny Appleseed of the Ouirrh Mountains.

I also have working dreams when I find myself in a pickle of a mess, like not having a pen to write with or getting lost on the way to an assignment, or simply missing deadline. On the morning of these dreams it usually takes me a while to convince myself that the dream isn’t real and I’m not going to get yelled at by an editor.

Part of my 37 years as a journalist, however, I was also an editor, and the dreams I have along this vein involve me doing a better job of the task than I know I did when it wasn’t a dream. I had the heart of a reporter, and only the better pay near the end of my career prompted me to become a desk-bound editor.

But I even enjoy these dreams, because they teach me something about myself.

I didn’t, however, enjoy the dream I had last night. I found myself attending a political gathering, and despite all the talking going on, I couldn’t find something to write about. Every word coming out of the candidates’ mouths sounded childish, gibberish or involved unsubstantiated claims or even bullying of people because of their looks.

When I finally woke up, I was angry, and there was no doubt in my mind where this dream had come from. What made me even angrier is that I suspect I might be having more of these nightmares in the coming days.

Bean Pat: Interesting Literature http://tinyurl.com/od9sl64 If you like Lewis Carrol and Jabberwocky, you’ll like this blog.

Posted in Journeys, Writing | Tagged , , | 5 Comments »

The Sun and the Mountain

September 23, 2015 by Pat Bean

“There is only one day left, always starting over: It is given to us at dawn and taken away from us at dusk.” – Jean-Paul Sartre

Daisies dancing in the sunlight. -- Art by Pat Bean

Daisies dancing in the sunlight. — Art by Pat Bean

Lighting up the Catalinas

I walked my canine companion Pepper, still in my pajamas, at o-dark-hundred this morning. It’s a time when few people are about in my large complex. By the time I was back in my apartment, fixed myself a cup of cream-laced coffee, and settled on my bedroom balcony with my journal and a daily to-do list, it was 6 a.m.

While the sun was up, as it had not been for the past two rainy days, it had not yet reached the Catalina Mountains that so comfortingly stand to my north. I smiled, delighted in the knowledge that I would now be graced with an opportunity to watch the sun creep down from their peaks.

butterfly

A butterfly enjoying the sunlight and the flowers. — Art by Pat Bean

And as I watched, my mind wandered back to the many times I had watched this same sun’s rays creep down the red mountains in Zion National Park. I usually visited this, my most special place in the world, in early April, when mornings were often chilling to the bone. Often I would find myself huddling next to a dawn campfire, watching as the golden rays slowly crept down the cliffs, eager for its warmth to reach our valley camp site. Once I sat so close to the fire that I suddenly realized my tennis shoes were melting.

While these days I find my body mostly rooted close to home, my mind is still free to continue wandering all the places I’ve traveled and relive all my adventures. And since I never know what place my memories will take me next, I still have the luxury of being surprised. And surprises were one of the things I liked best about traveling.

Blog pick of the day. Check it out.

Blog pick of the day. Check it out.

Bean Pat: Lettuce Lake http://tinyurl.com/pz9u75b And there’s also the easiness of armchair travel to let me visit places I’ve never been.

Posted in Art, Journeys, Nature | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments »

Weekly Photo Challenge

September 20, 2015 by Pat Bean

“Going off the grid is always good or me. It’s the way that I’ve started books and finished books and gotten myself out of deadline dooms and things.” — Neil Gaiman

The Grid

Roseate spoonbill nest. -- Photo by Pat Bean

Roseate spoonbill nest. — Photo by Pat Bean

These photos were take in the aviary at the St. Louis Zoo in Missouri that was specially built for the 1904 World Fair.

Cloud reflections through the grid and a great egret. -- Photo by Pat Bean

Cloud reflections through the grid and a great egret. — Photo by Pat Bean

 

 

Posted in Birds, Favorite Places, Weekly Photo Challenge | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment »

The Hoopoe

September 19, 2015 by Pat Bean

“You have to know the past to understand the present.” –Carl Sagan          

A Bird from my Past — and Present

No. That bird at the feet of the zebra isn't a Hoopoe. It's a Hammerkop, and one of the 182 life birds I saw on my African safari. -- Photo by Pat Bean

No. That bird at the feet of the zebra isn’t a Hoopoe. It’s a Hammerkop, and one of the 182 life birds I saw on my African safari. — Photo by Pat Bean

I had never heard of such a thing as a Hoopoe until I read John Michener’s novel, The Source. That was a long time ago. The book was published in 1965, and if I remember correctly I read it right after it came out. I was a Michner fan back then.

This is a Wikimedia photo of a Hoopoe. Sadly I didn't get a good photo of he bird when I saw it, which is actually more normal than not. -- Wikimedia photo

This is a Wikimedia photo of a Hoopoe. Sadly I didn’t get a good photo of he bird when I saw it, which is actually more normal than not. — Wikimedia photo

He wrote 27 fictional novels – and not skinny books either – between 1947 and 2007. The first was Tales of the South Pacific, and the last was Matecumbe, published in its unpolished form a year after his death.

Of all Michener’s books, The Source was my favorite. I think it was because of how Michrner used the bird as a literary device, how described it, and how he named one of his characters Hoopoe, and then claimed he had been named after the bird.

When I read The Source those many years ago, I never expected I would ever get to see a Hoopoe. But I did, while on an African safari in 2007. That trip was one of the top two travel experiences of my life. The other was the 1991 trip when I paddled the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon. I still don’t know which trip should lead off my travel adventure tales. .

It wasn’t until 1999 that I became a passionate birdwatcher. It’s a hobby that caught me by the heart right when my 20 years of passionate white-water rafting heydays, were coming to an end. Wasn’t I lucky?

I’ve found that life always has questions and surprises – like the Hoopoe – to keep my days interesting. And these days, such surprises seem to engage my brain to make connections with my memories. Life is good. Especially since my back is no longer hurting.

Bean Pat http://tinyurl.com/o2jye94 A fascinating tale of the Hoopoe Bird.

Posted in Birds, Books, Journeys, Travel | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments »

Life’s Painful Episode

September 15, 2015 by Pat Bean

“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to set in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.” — Walter Anderson.

Once again the sun is shinning in my life. --Photo by Pat Bean

Once again the sun is shinning in my life. –Photo by Pat Bean

They Hurt

As most of us who embrace life fully, I’ve had my share of emotional pain. But until this year any physical pain I suffered has always been minor. Even the births of my five children weren’t that painful.

And the geese are playing. -- Photo by Pat Bean

And the geese are playing. — Photo by Pat Bean

Until this year, I’ve never even used all the pain pills I was given for broken bones or other grievances of my body. And never until this year did I actually ask for them.

A back problem a few weeks ago, not only had me asking for them, but then asking again for something stronger. I was then given a prescription that I had to pick up personally, and then show my ID before I could pick them up from the pharmacy.

I went through the first bottle of 60 pills, in which I was allowed to take eight a day, in about 11 days, and then asked for more. Thankfully, physical therapy is finally getting me back to normal. I had my last pain pill four days ago, with half the pills still remaining.

I’m thankful the pills were available because for the first time in my life I was in serious pain, such that I lay curled up in a recliner for eight days straight with nothing but bathroom breaks. But I hated taking them. They made me sick to my stomach, zapped my energy and attacked my brain.

Perhaps I have a different chemistry than others, but it still bewilders me why anyone would want to take pain pills for fun. Today is the fourth day I’ve been pain-pill free, and the first day I’m feeling myself again. I woke at 5 a.m. with some of my energy back. And I just got back from walking my canine companion, Pepper.

Life is getting to be good again. I’m sure hoping it stays that way. One thing for sure, I’m going to let others do all the heavy lifting for me from now on. Like all the other lessons in my life, I seem to only learn the hard way. But I do learn.

Bean Pat: Hasty Words http://tinyurl.com/ph4nz8z I love this.

Blog pick of the day. Check it out.

Blog pick of the day. Check it out.

Posted in Journeys | Tagged | 12 Comments »

Keep on Keeping On

September 6, 2015 by Pat Bean

             “What I like in a good author is not what he says, but what he whispers.” Logan Pearsall Smith

Writing feels like a sliver of silver moon that sheds light on what the dark tries to hide. within the world and within ourselves. Things may still be hazy, but never again invisible. -- Photo by Pat Bean .

Writing feels like a sliver of silver moon that sheds light on what the dark tries to hide. within the world and within ourselves. Things may still be hazy, but never again invisible. — Photo by Pat Bean .

Doing That Writing Thing

            I write because to not write is to not breathe. I think I’m not alone in how I feel. .

“It is necessary to write, if the days are not to slip emptily by. How else, indeed, to clap the net over the butterfly of the moment? For the moment passes, it is forgotten; the mood is gone; life itself is gone. That is where the writer scores over his fellows: he catches the changes of his mind on the hop.” This quote by Vita Sackville-West is my very favorite writing quote.

Why do you write, and what’s your favorite writing quote?

Posted in Journeys, Writing | Tagged | 4 Comments »

Books You Should Read

September 5, 2015 by Pat Bean

“With every book you go back to school. You become a student. You become an investigative reporter. You spend a little time learning what it’s like to live in someone else’s shoes.”\

This made for a nice reading nook when I was visiting Flagstaff, Arizona, a few years ago. -- Photo by Pat Bean

This made for a nice reading nook when I was visiting Flagstaff, Arizona, a few years ago. — Photo by Pat Bean

Or Not!

            Don Quixote, written in the early 17th century by Miguel de Cervantes, is considered an influential work of literature, and as such, is included on many recommended book reading lists.

A cozy bench to read, or watch birds. -- Photo by Pat Bean

A cozy bench to read, or watch birds. — Photo by Pat Bean

I slogged through the thick two-volume missive, on which is based the play and movie, Man of La Mancha, discovering many thought-provoking ideas that enriched my mind. It was well-worth my reading times.

But while Jack Kerouac’s On the Road is on just about every list of the 100 best travel books, which is a genre I read prolifically and enthusiastically, I haven’t been able to slog through this book. I’ve tried three different times with little success.

I fall asleep, I lay the book aside and somehow it gets lost and I never have the desire to return to it. I just don’t understand Kerouac’s kind of travel. About the only think I truly get about Kerouac and his Beat Generation is this one quote: “What is the feeling when you’re driving away from people, and they recede on the plain till you see their flecks dispersing? It’s the too huge world vaulting us, and its good-bye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies.”

            I use it on the opening page of Travels with Maggie, the travel book I’m hoping to get published soon. I suspect, however, those words might have meant something different to Kerouac than to me – just as all written words mean different things to different writers and different readers.

Something in me says I should give On the Road another try. Something else in me says or not?

Bean Pat: A pleasant and peaceful armchair journey through the Namibia Desert http://tinyurl.com/om4pmks Watch the slide show.

Posted in Books, Journeys | Tagged , , | 1 Comment »

Invest in Yourself

September 4, 2015 by Pat Bean

“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.” – Golda Meir

Colorful and whimsical and looking at these objects, which include one of my own art pieces in the background, make me feel food. -- Photo by Pat Bean

Colorful and whimsical and looking at these objects, which include one of my own art pieces in the background, make me feel food. — Photo by Pat Bean

Don’t Wait for Someone to Bring You flowers

I’m not a particularly a neat person. Sometimes dishes remain in the sink overnight, and my artsy fartsy craft activities, writing projects, and half dozen are so books I’m currently reading are usually spread all over my small apartment.

But over the years, I’ve learned that I work best when things are both in some semblance of order and pleasing to the eye. That’s why my writing desk is set in front of a window with a view — and why I buy myself flowers.

I love the way flowers make me feel, and I decided long ago I wasn’t going to wait for someone else to buy, or pick, them for me.

Above are the ones I bought for myself at the grocery store yesterday. While my budget is tight, I considered it a good investment in me.

And don’t you just love the whimsical tin birds that sit beside them. They were a gift from someone who knows how I like quirky and colorful objects.

Life is good.

Blog pick of the day. Check it out.

Blog pick of the day. Check it out.

Bean Pat: Art and Friendship http://tinyurl.com/pxn6h55 Be sure and click on the link “A little bird told me.”

Posted in Journeys | Tagged , | 2 Comments »

Feeling at Home

September 3, 2015 by Pat Bean

“I long as does every human being to be at home wherever I find myself.” – Maya Angelou.

The view from my third-floor balcony. -- Photo by Pat Bean

The view from my third-floor balcony. — Photo by Pat Bean

In the Shadow of the Catalina Mountains

I’ve never truly had roots, moving frequently as both a child and an adult. I didn’t graduate from high school, so have never had that kind of reunion. And, after sneaking in the back door of a community college, I have five institutions of higher education in my background, so no real connections there either.

I've filled my apartment with color, and comfort for myself and all who visit. -- Photo by Pat Bean

I’ve filled my apartment with color, and comfort for myself and all who visit. — Photo by Pat Bean

The closest I ever came to feeling at home was in the daily chaos of a newspaper newsroom, and then living life on the road. But during my recent 12-day stay (because of back pain) at my youngest daughter’s home, where I was lovingly waited on hand and foot, I found myself tremendously missing my third-floor walk-up apartment in which I’ve lived for less than three years.

I moved into it after spending nine years living in an undersized 21-foot RV, where home was wherever I parked it. I returned from my daughter’s home to my 600-square-foot Tucson apartment, which sits in the shadow of the Catalina Mountains and which I decorated from scratch, yesterday – and soon found myself sitting on my bedroom balcony staring out at the Catalina Mountains.

I’m not sure I have ever felt as much as home as I did in that moment.

Blog pick of the day. Check it out.

Blog pick of the day. Check it out.

Bean Pat: 20 Minutes a Day http://tinyurl.com/nh8oszr A favorite blogger who shares her own interpretation of home.

Posted in Journeys | Tagged | 7 Comments »

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