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Archive for the ‘Writing’ Category

We don’t have snow, but it’s been cold here in Tucson. — Art by Pat Bean

Aging My Way

If I were to think about some of the important milestones in my life, I could start with an incident that happened during the early 1940s, when as a young child, I destroyed the family’s ration stamps. Issued by the government during World War II, the stamps allowed families limited purchase of such items as sugar, gas and meat.

The incident is not something I actually remember doing, but the story was told to me numerous times growing up. That I survived this family trauma has to mean something.

But not nearly as much as the milestone that I now look back on in disbelief. I survived raising five children at a time when disposable diapers were not easily available. And because the first four of my children were close in age, I once had seven years of uninterrupted cloth diaper changes.

Somehow, today, that seems as much of a milestone as giving birth to those five children. Perhaps it’s because after changing a few of my grandchildren and great-grandchildren’s diapers, I came to the conclusion that disposable diapers might be one of the world’s best inventions.

I think my next milestone, which happened when those five kids ranged in age from two to 11, was going to work for a newspaper, and getting promoted from darkroom flunky to reporter. It changed the entire direction of my life and gave me a career I loved for the next 37 years.

Looking back now, I feel that was the life I was meant to live, and I can’t help but wonder if fate played a hand in letting me find it. What would my life have been like if I hadn’t answered that newspaper ad?  Or, if at 25, I hadn’t decided I wanted to be a writer?

As I sit here reflecting on these things, I realize how very thankful I am for the life I’ve had. But I also wonder how different things could have turned out, especially since all the milestones – and wrong decisions — I’ve survived in my life were not all that great.

There were a few experiences I wouldn’t regret having skipped. But then I wonder if I hadn’t experienced them, would my life have turned out for the better – or the worse?

Who knows? Certainly not me. I guess pondering about disposable diapers, and where your thoughts go from there, is just something you do when you’re an old broad.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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Yellow-Rumped Warbler

Aging My Way

 When things got tough in my younger years, I did what most of us do. I struggled on. Then, during one of the rougher patches, I came to an amazing discovery. Despite all the chaos that was happening around and to me, there was still a deep happiness inside me that had nothing to do with my present world.

 Ever since that day, I’ve felt blessed. And as I thought about it this morning, I realized that if I ever needed that flaming spark of inner light to keep going, it is now.

 While all the drama and craziness that’s been in my past life has faded away, I’ve found myself in a new kind of shit. Sorry if that word offends, but I can’t think of a better description to sum up what’s happening to my body after 84 years of living in it.

  Bum knee, bum shoulder, thinning skin, thinning hair, sagging boobs, actually sagging everything. Yet, I still greet each morning with zest, and with thankfulness that I’ve made it this far in life, and also for the benefits of aging.    

 No longer are little things a matter of life or death, I have more time to read and learn, and stillness in my life for reflection. I finally realize my worth and that I am loved, two things that escaped my desperate search for them when I was younger.

 But best of all, I’m learning to live in the moment. I enjoy each bird that visits my yard, each hug from friends and loved ones, each cuddle with my dog Scamp, and every sunrise, which is visible from my warm, cozy bed on a cold Tucson morning like today.

I’m just thankful to still be alive. This I know.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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That’s Not What I Meant

Some hummingbirds can flap their wings up to 80 times a second. — Art by Pat Bean

Aging My Way

With all this talk being thrown around about artificial intelligence, better known simply as AI, I’ve come to realize one of its uses has been both the savior and bane of my life for 40 years or more. I’m talking about Spell Check.

In the early years, it simply noted misspelled words; today it goes so far as to question context and meaning of words. I like it when it catches my typo gremlins, but not when it automatically changes a word I truly meant, sometimes even refusing to let me change it back.

This mostly happens when I text — and the most frequent irritation is when Spell Check changes Dawn to David. And just yesterday, I typed that I was back safely after taking my dog Scamp for a walk and that he had pooed.  AI didn’t like pooed, so changed it to posed.

In 2020, Google wrote of its Spell Check Program: “The tool uses a deep neural net with 680 million parameters to better understand the context of misspelled words. It runs in 3 milliseconds — faster than one flap of a hummingbird’s wings.”

Now I don’t understand some of that, but I do know that some hummingbirds flap their wings 80 times a second. Then again, I don’t understand how that is possible either.

In my imagination, I see Spell Check and Lewis Carroll, the author of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass, coming head-to-head in a face-off.

Carroll, whose work was published in the 1800s, used such meaningless words as brillig, frumious, slythy, mimsy, burble, chortle, galumph, snark, frabjous, and burble – and meant them. Some of those words can now be found in dictionaries, like Jabberwocky, the name of a nonsensical poem by Carrol. Today, Jabberwocky, according to an Oxford Dictionary, means invented or meaningless language.

Will Spell Check block the creation of new words from joining our language – or will there be another author like Carroll to fight and win the head-to-head battle against the mighty AI tool?

This curious writer wants to know. Otherwise, I just want Spell Check to continue catching my typo gremlins, but to acknowledge I meant what I said.

That’s not asking too much. Is it?

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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Yellow and Purple — Art by Pat Bean

Aging My Way

Did you know that if you live in the United States’ lower mainland, you’re never more than 135 miles from a McDonald’s. At least that’s what an Atlas Obscura article I read claimed.

Then with a pun for emphasis, the article said the “McFarthest” spot away from one of the fast-food restaurants was located in Nevada. The article then provided the GPS coordinates, with an added note to respect property rights if you decide to go.

Between 1956 and 1970, I lived in Lake Jackson, a small city on the Texas Gulf Coast that was founded in 1942, just two years after the first McDonald’s was opened in 1940. I often heard people, maybe even myself once or twice, decry that the city didn’t have a McDonalds. Well, Lake Jackson has grown substantially over the years, and now has more than one McDonald’s.

But since my way of thinking has changed much over the past 50 plus years, I’m not all together happy about that. I’ve become a big fan of wilderness areas, even if it’s just a place designated as wildlife habitat.

While some humans think we’re the only species that counts. I think differently. Besides, being able to just be surrounded by Mother Nature’s wonders every once in a while, is what has kept me sane all these years. Even as a kid, I treasured being hidden among the leaves up a tree. And when I saw my first mountain, I was hooked for life.  

During my 37-year newspaper journalism career, I was always looking for stories that would take me into undeveloped areas. I wrote about the return of wolves to Yellowstone, the polarized issues of Southern Utah wilderness areas, the creation of The Grand Staircase-Escalante Monument, Forest Service land swaps, troubling issues involving Great Salt Lake, and many other environmental issues.

The newspaper’s photographers even created a catch-phrase about me. “If you find yourself driving on an unpaved road, it must be a Pat Bean assignment.”

I miss those days. But I can’t imagine ever missing a McDonald’s.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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Run Off — Art by Pat Bean

Aging My Way

        There were very few mornings in 2023 when I didn’t awake with thankfulness in my heart for all my many blessings. Even so, I let Thanksgiving pass by without my annual 100 things I’m thankful for list, which I’ve posted since 2010.

        2023 was a year of changes for me, and coping with those changes got in the way of a lot more than just that list. The 365 days of the past year were a needed time for reflection, of my past and on my future. We all need time like this. But when I was able to race hither and thither without a thought, I seldom took it.

        But now is my season to do so.

        Meanwhile, I’m ready to take on 2024, and I do it in the spirit of Edward Abbey, who sensibly wished for crooked, winding, challenging trails, with mountains that rose above the clouds and had amazing views.

        And since the thankfulness I feel in my heart continues to overflow, I share with you, in no particular order except as they raced through my brain, 100 things I’m thankful for.

  1. Comfortable shoes.
  2. A warm home on a cold day.
  3. My canine companion Scamp, who keeps my life balanced.
  4. Fresh, clean sheets for a good night’s sleep.
  5. A granddaughter and her wife who have chosen to live near me in my old age.
  6. Mother Nature and all her wonders.
  7. Air conditioning to survive Tucson summers.
  8. Flowers of every shade and hue.
  9. A hot bath.
  10.  Cream-laced coffee to start my mornings.
  11.  Every single member of my large family.
  12.  Road trips, although they have become fewer these days.
  13. Good conversations that make me think.
  14.  Competitive card games.
  15.  Finally finding a primary care physician who listens to me. We’re not all alike, you know.
  16.  Tye-Dye T-shirts.
  17.  A Jack and Coke nightcap.
  18.  Books, one of life’s greatest treasures.
  19.  The view I have of the Catalina Mountains,
  20.  Friends, old and new and everywhere in between.  
  21. That I’m a writer, and can live life twice.
  22.  A soft quilt.
  23.  My addiction to bird watching.
  24.  Good memories of the awesome experiences I’ve collected over 84 years.
  25.  Rainbows.
  26. Sunrises and sunsets.
  27.  My old recliner.
  28.  The tall cottonwood and oleander trees that grace my small yard.
  29.  A daily call from a son.
  30.  The internet and the connections and knowledge it provides me.
  31.  Snail mail from a fellow wordsmith.
  32.  Story Circle Network, my writing support group.
  33.  Publication of my book, Travels with Maggie, about my nine years traveling this country in an RV.
  34.  Art, my own and that of others.
  35.  That I still have a zest for life.
  36.  Learning something new.
  37.  My scrapbooks and journals, which haphazardly capture snippets of my life.
  38.  My rubber tree plant, which is now about 40 years old, and which has been prolific in providing its babies to others.
  39.  A drawing of a cardinal which belonged to my grandmother, and is the oldest thing I own.
  40.  Advil.
  41.  Chocolate ice cream.
  42.  New sox and underwear.
  43.  Butterflies.
  44.  Hummingbirds at my nectar feeder.
  45.  Hugs.
  46.  Kind people who care about others.
  47.  That I can still drive.
  48.  Soft pajamas.
  49.  Pleasant surprises
  50. Laughter.
  51.  A good pen and journal.
  52.  Audible books.
  53.  A sky full of stars.
  54.  Electricity and the conveniences of life.
  55.  A good haircut.
  56.  My wrinkles, because I earned them.
  57.  The Sonoran Desert that I live in.
  58.  My pansy hanging flower basket that hasn’t stopped blooming in over a year.
  59.  Wind chimes.
  60.  My wolf tattoo, which I got at 75.
  61.  Fresh flowers on my table.
  62.  Live theater.
  63.  The Van Gogh exhibit I visited this past year.
  64.  Hot tea.
  65.  Social Security.
  66.  Jigsaw puzzles
  67.  That I live in a place where coyotes still howl and a Cooper’s Hawk visits my yard, only if looking for a tasty sparrow meal.
  68.  Friends and loved ones who drop in unannounced – it’s a southern thing.
  69.  Time alone, to reflect and think – it’s an old age thing,
  70.  That I no longer feel the need to be perfect.
  71.  My favorite cooking pan, especially when it is full of my fresh-cooked chicken and rice.
  72.  The solar lights that brighten my yard at night.
  73.  Truthful, unbiased news, and the journalists who report it.
  74.  That I was born in America and have privileges as a woman that so many other women do not.
  75.  The neighborhood I live in.
  76.  A clean apartment, and freshly washed clothes.
  77.  Care boxes from my guardian angel daughter-in-law.
  78.  Ponds moisturizing cream.
  79.  Christmas trees and ornaments.
  80.  Spending Thanksgiving with family, this year with a daughter, three grandchildren and three great-grandchildren.
  81.  My mother and grandmother, and all other female role models who haven’t let gender stand in the way of reaching their goals.
  82.  Scamp’s groomer, because he’s not an easy dog to groom.
  83.  My microwave and leftovers.
  84.  Scented candles.
  85.  Clean water to drink.
  86.  Movies that make me both laugh and cry.
  87.  Every morning I awake ready for another day,
  88.  Outsmarting my computer, or other technical wonder when they get cranky. Oh, wait. I’m the one that gets cranky when they don’t work.
  89.  National Parks and Forests, and bird sanctuaries and wildlife refuges.
  90.  Despite its hit on my budget, that I can afford good medical insurance when so many others can’t.
  91.  Overhead honking geese.
  92.  Reading glasses.
  93.  Scenic backroads.
  94.  Polite drivers.
  95.  That I’m more focused on remembering the good times than the bad ones, while continuing to live in the present.
  96.  Country western and rock and roll music.
  97.  Readers of my blog.
  98.  Morning walks with my dog Scamp.
  99.  Discovering a new author I like who has written a dozen books.
  100. And finally, for still managing to believe in silver linings when things go awry.

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One of Rick Steves many travel books about European countries.

Aging My Way

Reading and Googling go hand in hand for me these days. It’s one of the good things about the internet. No longer do I have to wait to go to the library to find answers to my questions, all I have to do is type them into a search engine.

It helps, however, if you know the right questions to ask.

This morning I was reading an essay in Best American Travel Writing of 2020 about Rick Steves. The author didn’t immediately identify Steves except by name, and so I Googled him. Only from the short time I went from the page to my phone screen I goofed and typed in Steve Reeves.

That was a blast to my past. During my younger days, I had watched Reeves, a bodybuilder and actor, portray such characters as Hercules in movies many times. But I quickly realized he probably wasn’t the person I was looking for and a quick glance back at the book informed me of my mistake.

Googling the correct name, I discovered Rick Steves is a popular American travel writer famous for his European travel guides. I guess. because I’ve never visited Europe, is why I had never heard of Steves, even though the article by Sam Anderson described him as an amazing person and writer.

Meanwhile, I’m still wondering how my little gray cells jumped from Rick Steves to Steve Reeves. My guess is that at 84, and always being insatiably curious, those cells of mine are densely crowded, allowing wires to easily get crossed. At least I hope that’s all it is.  

I wonder if the internet has something to say about that.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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Tioga Pass view from top of Tioga Peak

Aging My Way

I’ve been reading books in the travel genre since I’ve been a kid, and have oft quoted Dr. Seuss saying “Oh! The places you’ll go and the things you’ll see!” – And I did, from exploring the neighborhood on my bike as a kid to watching wild elephants and hippos on an African safari.

The first travel book I read was I Married Adventure by Osa Johnson, published in 1940, just a year after I was born. I was 10 years old at the time, and having escaped the children’s side of the library had migrated to the dangerous adult side, where the lions Osa and her husband were filming resided.

By the time I hit my 50s, any list of the Best Travel Books I came across found me having read most of them. And the ones I hadn’t read, well they went on my to-read list. And what I read made my bucket list get longer and longer.

I’ve pretty much read everything written by Jan Morris, Bill Bryson (whose A Walk in the Woods inspired by own years of hiking), Paul Theroux, Robert Louis Stevenson, Peter Matthiessen, William Least Heat Moon (His Blue Highways inspired my own travels in a small RV around North America for nine years) John Steinbeck (whose Travels with Charley inspired the title of my own travel book Travels with Maggie), and my all-time favorite adventurer Tim Cahill.

And then there are these three travel writers who were writing travel books long before I was born, and during a time when respectful women didn’t travel alone, as they so successfully did.

My own favorite, perhaps because we share a journalistic background, is Nellie Bly who in 1888 went around the world in 72 days – and wrote about it 15 years after Jule Verne’s Around the World in 80 Days was published.

Then there is Isabella Bird, who wrote A Lady’s Life in the Rocky Mountains that was published in 1879. It was her fourth, but my favorite of her books. I found it at a national parks’ visitor center, which is an ideal location to find obscure travel books.   

And finally, for this blog but not for the list of great women travel writers, there is Freya Stark, who wrote more than two dozen books about her travels in the Middle East and Afghanistan. Of her impressive writings, Valley of the Assassins, published in 1834 is my favorite.

While at 84, my traveling days are mostly over, I’m still reading travel books. The current one is Vagabonding in the USA by Ed Buryn.

It was first published in 1980, so is not too useful as an actual travel guide. But it is, I’m discovering, chockfull of advice that transcends travel. And, like many travel books for me these days, a catalyst for bringing back awesome memories of places I have already visited.

The passage below, for example, let me relive the delight I had in my own cresting of Tioga Pass, where I got out of the car, stretched, felt the breeze blowing my hair about, took in the magnificent view and simply felt glad to be alive.

Wrote Buryn: “I am … driving down from Tioga Pass where California 120 tops the Sierra Nevada and heads east. It is dusk. In the clear mountain/desert air, the alpenglow to the east over Nevada seems almost phosphorescent. Mono Lake shimmers in the darkening distance, with barren ranges endlessly beyond it. … It is the first sundown of another road adventure…”

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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Unfinished Thoughts

Sitting on a fence with my thoughts. — Art by Pat Bean

Aging My Way

I was looking for an idea for a post, and found at least a hundred of them on my own writing to-do list. All those possibilities were on the list, however, because I didn’t yet know how to flesh them out.

 Ideas are as plentiful as the leaves currently dropping from the giant cottonwood tree in my yard, but turning them into an essay can be as difficult as keeping my yard leaf free.

As Maya Angelou said: “Easy reading is damn hard writing.”

Here are just a few of the potential ideas that have intrigued me, or that I need to finish. First there’s an essay based on the theme unfinished. It has a September 16th deadline, but there are so many unfinished things in my life that my mind has become a muddle in a puddle.   

Other possible essays ideas fermenting in my brain include:  

Questions vs answers – which are more important?

Why is it that the same boiling water that softens the potato hardens the egg? Reasons to own a dog, like pizza crust ends. I’m working on this list.

The times when you’re damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.

Why at 84 I still read Outside Magazine? Maybe because if I can’t hike to the top or a mountain or backpack 30 miles to reach a natural arch or a majestic waterfall at this stage in my life, I can enjoy the thrills vicariously. Hmm, maybe I should focus my writing efforts on this one for now. The muse has started buzzing around in my head.  

But then that’s what brainstorming is all about. Thanks, treasured readers for listening. Now if you have any ideas about the theme unfinished, whose deadline is fast approaching, feel free to share.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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A New Frontier to Conquer

Aging My Way

Even if you’re not a Star Trek fan, you’re probably familiar with the phase “…to go where no man has gone before.”

That’s exactly where I feel I’ve taking a journey to and through — in the here and now. While the feeling certainly has to do with aging, that’s not all I’m talking about. I’m constantly being bombarded with new thoughts, new ways of thinking, new words, new ways of working, new ideas and new gadgets.

The world is changing faster than I can keep up. And while the good old days were not all good, these days aren’t either.  As in almost everything, yesterday and today have both positive and negative attributes.

Getting from there to here has been a chaotic journey that continues to have this old broad dodging potholes to stay on the right path, the one I’ve chosen to travel while still being kind. thoughtful and updated.

Life has had me discarding misconceptions about almost everything, from race and gender to religion and morality. I even had to disregard my high school geometry teacher’s conviction that man would never make it to the moon, never mind traveling in space farther than that.

So, Captain Kirk and Captain Picard I’m ready to board the Enterprise, because I’m going where no 84-year-old woman has gone before. I’m greatly looking forward to the adventure.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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My Dog Scamp

Aging My Way

One of the best things about being retired is that you are not usually beholden to someone else’s schedule. And one of the more dubious things about being retired is having a full day ahead of you and deciding how to make it count.

I’ve been retired for 19 years now, and you would think I had that aspect perfected. Ha!

It was easier the first nine years, when I lived in my RV full time and had road trips to plan and all of this country to visit. It was even easier for the next five or six years when I was more mobile and could still hike a trail.

But my mobility became a bit restrained this past year. I’ve become mostly a nest dweller. Now, it’s a nice nest, with good neighbors and a caring granddaughter and her wife living just next door, so I’m not complaining. The truth is, I’m really enjoying this period of my life.

But that still leaves me waking each morning and wondering how I’m going to spend the day. Not so easy as it seems – especially because I’ve never wanted one day to be like the next. It helps, however, that my activity basket is quite overflowing – and my daily self-generated to-do list is always too long to finish.

I do art, I write, I review books, I judge books, I birdwatch, I watch TV, although I read much more than sitting in front of a screen. I also listen to audible books.  I keep up with all my own household chores except ones requiring heavy lifting, and I even do a little yard work. I email and have snail-mail pen pals. I journal and moderate a writing chat group. I cook. I visit the library, go to a play, attend a movie, or even party with friends. And I walk my dog, which gets me outdoors where I can do a little nature observing. I also try to learn something new each day, even if it’s just a new word.

But I’m always open to something different. And I found it a couple of weeks ago. I’m taking a poetry class – me who in all my nearly 60 years of writing never wrote poetry. So, here’s my first assignment. Of course, it’s about my canine companion.

My Dog Scamp

A lap full of hair

A nose full of sniffing

Four prints in the sand

And a tail always wagging

A tongue full of kisses

A belly full of rumbling

Brown eyes that melt hearts

And ears up for alerting

A balance to my life

A companion worth having

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