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Remembering Pepper

Pepper and I spent the first eight months of our lives together in my small RV traveling the country. Shown here, just a few weeks after I adopted her, is the time we visited Cadillac Ranch near Amarillo, Texas. The ranch is a motley line of buried old Cadillacs that people spray paint when they visit. Pepper found, and insisted on carrying back to the RV, one of the paint can caps.  — Photo by Pat Bean

“When we adopt a dog or any pet, we know it is going to end with us having to say goodbye, but we still do it. And we do it for a very good reason: They bring so much joy and optimism and happiness. They attack every moment of every day with that attitude.” —  W. Bruce Cameron

Seven Short Years 

Pepper spent a morning running back and forth through a sprinkler, then arrived back in front of me with a fern bow on the top of her head. — Photo by Pat Bean

          Her shelter name was Kenzie. She was a four-month-old, 14-pound black ball of fur giving all the bigger dogs in the yard at the Second Chance shelter in Plano, Texas, a good workout when I first saw her. She was full of energy and joy and not the kind of dog I was looking for to replace my long-time canine companion Maggie.

I wanted a two or three-year-old dog, preferably a cocker spaniel mix, who was already house trained. But Kenzie, an energetic Scottie-mix, took one look at me sitting on a bench, jumped into my lap and gave me a no-nonsense look that said: I’m going home with you. And so she did.

On the ride back from the shelter, I decided she didn’t look like a Kenzie, so I started thinking out loud about other possible names. When I said Pepper, she gave a little joyful yowl, which I interpreted as Yes! That’s my name!

She thoroughly enjoyed chewing up her toys for the entire seven years of her life. — Photo by Pat Bean

From that minute onward, for the next seven years, until this past Wednesday, we were rarely apart. She loved other people and dogs with enthusiasm, but made it clear that she never wanted to be out of my sight. She was a barker when she played and chased other dogs, or when anyone came to visit. I called her my loud-mouth Texan, a trait she and I shared when excited.

My son-in-law, Joe, whom she twisted around her little paw, called her the Queen Bee because she bossed the family’s two, much-larger, male dogs around after their Great Dane alpha female went over the Rainbow Bridge. The nickname stuck here at my apartment complex. One dog-owning neighbor called her the social director because of the way she got all the dogs up and running around in the dog park.


Pepper made the cover of PetSmart’s magazine after one of her recent every 10-week groomings. But because I was not in her sight, she was an unhappy dog, easy to see by the down-turned ears. She would cry like a baby when I left her for her bath and hair cut.

Pepper loved belly rubs, and in no uncertain terms would let all humans she came into contact with know she wanted one. She also had this unbelievable stare when she wanted something, clearly expecting you to know if that something was a treat, a walk or just attention.

Her bestie BFF was a dog called Dusty who belongs to my dear friend Jean, both of whom have been grieving along with me the last few days. Dusty, also a rescue, goes bonkers if she’s left alone. It was because Jean was looking for someone to walk and babysit her dog during the day while she worked that the four of us came together five years ago,

Every weekday morning, Jean would drop Dusty off at my apartment, where the two dogs eagerly greeted each other, then spent the day playing, begging for treats, walking together, or simply curled up with each other behind my recliner, a place that they allowed no visiting dogs to enter.


Me, Pepper and Dusty in my recliner. The two dogs were besties, and now Dusty wants to know where her friend is — in doggie heaven I tell her.

Pepper’s barking was her most annoying trait. Sort of funny, but it’s now what I miss most about her.  I also miss her stare, our early morning bed cuddles, and her simply joy of life.  OK, I miss everything about Pepper. I suspect it will be many days yet before I make it through a 24-hour period without tears. But I wouldn’t take back a single one of those tears in exchange for not having the seven treasured years Pepper and I had together.

She had more enthusiasm for life in her little body than anyone I have ever met. And if there is a doggie heaven, which I believe in more than I do in a heaven for humans, she’s sharing it with all the other dogs who once were loved by a human as much as I loved Pepper.

I’ll never stop loving or missing Pepper. But in the meantime, perhaps there is another dog out there who needs rescuing, and needs me as much as I need her.  I’m a glutton for joy, even if it ends in sadness.

Available on Amazon

Pat Bean is a retired journalist who lives in Tucson. She is a wondering-wanderer, avid reader, Lonely Planet Community Pathfinder, Story Circle Network board member, author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon, enthusiastic birder and is always searching for life’s silver lining. She can be reached at patbean@msn.com

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When snow melts, the creeks do rise. — Watercolor by Pat Bean

“No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.” – Robin Williams

Remembering my Grandmother

I was reading High Tide in Tucson, an essay anthology by Barbara Kingsolver who mentioned that she was often tempted to use one of her grandmother’s axioms when asked to commit to a future obligation. “Lord willing, and the creeks don’t rise,” she wrote.

My grandmother used to say exactly the same thing — and suddenly my wondering-brain was wanting to know the origin of the phrase  …  and then I was putting down Kingsolver’s book for a bit of research.

As usual, I came up with conflicting stories. One is that the phrase was first used by Benjamin Hawkins, U.S. General Superintendent for Indian Affairs between 1796 and 1818. Supposedly he used it in a letter to Thomas Jefferson requesting his presence in Washington D.C. in which he replied he would be there “God willing and the Creek don’t rise,” meaning the Creek Indians.

Barbara Kingsolver is one of my favorite authors — and I’m loving this book of essays by her.

Others believe that Creek merely refers to a stream, and that it was simply a hayseed rural term meaning if nothing stops me or all goes well. One example for this is a mock rustic speech from an 1851 Graham’s American Monthly Magazine: “Feller-citizens — I’m not ’customed to public speakin’ before sich highfalutin’ audiences. … Yet here I stand before you a speckled hermit, wrapt in the risen-sun counterpane of my popilarity, an’ intendin’, Providence permittin’, and the creek don’t rise, to go it blind!”

Another example of early use of the phrase, according to Wikipedia, is from the 1894 Lafayette Gazette: “We are an American people, born under the flag of independence and if the Lord is willing and the creeks don’t rise, the American people who made this country will come pretty near controlling it.”

It’s also said to be a sign-off tag line of the 1930s’ radio broadcaster Bradley Kincaid. My grandmother liked to listen to the radio so maybe this is where she picked it up. And finally, it has also been attributed to Abraham Lincoln and Andrew Jackson, among others, on the usual principle that attaching a famous name to a story validates it.

Well, that was enough information, if not exactly uncomplicated, to placate this wondering-brain of mine — until the next time it is wants answers. In the meantime, God willing and the creek don’t rise, I’ll go back to reading High Tide in Tucson. And in case you’re wondering about that title, Kingsolver explains it in her first essay.

Bean Pat: In tribute to Mary Oliver https://deborahbrasket.wordpress.com/2019/01/20/mary-oliver-washed-in-light/  Her words live on.

Now available on Amazon

Pat Bean is a retired journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion Pepper. She is a wondering-wanderer, avid reader, enthusiastic birder and is always searching for life’s silver lining. Check out her book Travels with Maggie, available on Amazon, to learn more. She can be reached at patbean@msn.com

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DFW Flashback

One of the trams at DFW airport that transport passengers from gate to gate and terminal to terminal. — Wikimedia photo

     ‘Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind; it is not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips and supple knees; it is a matter of the will, quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions; it is the freshness of the deep springs of life.’ — Samuel Ullman

Surviving Teenagers

Friday evening, I found myself sitting in a tram at the Dallas-Fort Worth Airport, hoping to get from Terminal C to Terminal A in time to catch a connecting flight to Orlando, Florida. Sitting across from me was my youngest daughter, T.C., who is a quite responsible and protective mom these days to the three boys she and her husband are raising after she raised three girls who are grown and given her grandchildren.

As I looked across the aisle at T.C., I suddenly remembered a night in 1978 when it was just her and me living together in Arlington, Texas, just a few miles from the DFW airport that had opened in 1974. My daughter was out with friends, and had an 8 p.m. curfew. By 10 minutes after 8, I was fuming and by 20 minutes after 8, I was worried and fuming.

Have a joyous one,

Shortly afterwards, I got a call from my daughter telling me she and her friends were at the airport riding the trams for fun, and asking if she could stay a bit longer. Of course, I screamed at her to get her butt home instantly.  I told this story to my grandson Patrick, who was sitting beside.  “How was that even possible?” he asked.

“That was before 9-11,” I said, realizing that he had never lived in a time before today’s paranoid airport security measures, back when anybody could follow a loved one all the way to the take-off gate, or meet them at the arrival gate. And even teenagers could explore an airport or ride the trams without the proper ID or a body pat, one of which I had before getting on my flight from Tucson to Dallas. I guess terrorists these days can even look like old broads.

“Wow!” Patrick responded to my information about the “old days.”  But I wasn’t sure he understood those days. And it made me sad.” But remembering how Patrick said he loved to come to my place because he didn’t get screamed at, I told him he should have heard me scream and howl at his mom. “It’s a mom’s responsibility to their children to scream at them,” I said, “especially if they’re teenagers. If you think it’s noisy at your house now, you should have heard the ruckus I made when I was raising your mom and her four siblings.”

I’m not sure he believed me. But I’m sure my children would love to back me up and tell him just how much they got yelled at by his Nana. Thankfully I survived those days – and so did my children. Now if we can all just survive these days.

Now available on Amazon

Bean Pat: Christmas. https://aipetcher.wordpress.com/2012/12/24/christmas-eve/ When life was simpler.

Pat Bean is a Lonely Planet Community Pathfinder. Her book, Travels with Maggie would make a great last-minute Christmas gift for all those who wander but are not lost. You can order it on Kindle or in paperback. Merry Christmas all.

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“The most important things in life aren’t things.” – Anthony J. D’Angelo

I promised myself when I moved into my new apartment that I wouldn’t bring anything into it that I didn’t love. And I do love these tin birds which were a gift, and my home will always have room for flowers. — Photo by Pat Bean

Once Again I’m at that Point

            Back in 2004, when I downsized from my two-bedroom home in Utah to a 21-foot RV, I was amazed at how much stuff I had. That was nothing, however, to the stuff I had when I moved from a six-bedroom family home, after three of my five children had grown up and started life on their own, into a two-bedroom apartment.

And I love having a simple place where I can read and write, and look out at the world. — Photo by Pat Bean

That time I finally called the local thrift store to come empty out my large unfinished basement. It seems if you have plenty of storage space, you tend to fill it up.

Space in my small RV during the nine years it was my home on wheels hardly existed, and I quickly learned that if I brought one item into my life, another item had to go out.

I was thinking about this the day I drove through the small town of Leakey, Texas, and saw a sign on an antique store that read: “Sophisticated Junk for the Elite.” That was worth one of my loud belly laughs.

I turned to my canine companion Maggie and asked her if we should

Having a great view, as I do from my writing chair is important, too. It’s better than stuff. — Photo by Pat Bean

stop. She looked up at me from her co-pilot seat in my RV and yawned. I guess not, I told her. Sophisticated or not, there was no room in my RV for old, or even new, doodads.

When I retired from my traveling RV life, settling into a small one-bedroom, third-floor apartment with a view of the Catalina Mountains out my bedroom balcony window, I felt as if I had moved into a mansion, and loved its spaciousness.

Looking around, six years later, I realized that it wasn’t quite as spacious. It’s time to go back to the practice of when one thing comes in, another goes out.

Bean Pat: Bo’s Café Life https://boscafelife.wordpress.com/2018/12/05/11561/ Life shouldn’t be taken too seriously.

Now available on Amazon

Pat Bean is a Lonely Planet Community Pathfinder. Her book, Travels with Maggie, is now up on Amazon. Currently, she is writing a book, she is calling Bird Droppings, which is about her late-bloomer birding adventures. You can contact her at patbean@msn.com

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Logically, this should have something to do with my post — but it doesn’t. It’s simply my latest watercolor, which I was doing as a workbook exercise.

Contrariwise, if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be, but as it isn’t. It ain’t. That’s logic.” – Lewis Carroll

A Page from My Journals

July 14, 1996, “At one time in my life, I sought logic in everything. Now I know better.” – Pat Bean

And this is simply a quick sketch I did of a great blue heron. I think I gave the bird an attitude. Is that logical?

I collect quotes, 99 percent of them from people who better put into words my own thoughts. Occasionally, however, I surprise myself and find the exact words to perfectly express what I think. Like the one I recorded in my journal, and which I’m sure came to me in a flash of insight because of something in my then life.

I kind of stole the last half of the quote from Maya Angelou, who is quoted many times in my journals. “When you know better, you do better,” she wrote. This thought always soothed me when I thought of the many mistakes I had made my life.

But to get back to the matter of logic, and my own words. I was already in my 50s, when I wrote the quote in my book on that 1996 summer day. It stands alone as the only words I wrote for this date. And as I reread it this morning, my first thought was how come it took me so long to reach such a painfully clear conclusion,.

The next thought had me wondering, what was the event that prompted me to come to that conclusion.

The answer to the first is easy. I truly am a very late bloomer – even though I precede the baby boomers.

I have no answer for the second, but I suspect I’m going to lose a few hours of sleep for the next few days pondering the answer, which will probably still elude me.

And that’s not logical at all.

Bean Pat: To be or not to be. https://interestingliterature.com/2018/11/03/a-short-analysis-of-shakespeares-to-be-or-not-to-be-soliloquy-from-hamlet/   I found this to be quite interesting, especially since I was thinking about popular quotes when I read it.

Blog pick of the day.

Pat Bean is a Lonely Planet Community Pathfinder. Her book, Travels with Maggie, is now up on Amazon at http://tinyurl.com/y8z7553y  Currently, she is writing a book, she is calling Bird Droppings, which is about her late-bloomer birding adventures. You can contact her at patbean@msn.com

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A 2015 road trip to the north rim of the Grand Canyon to see aspens in the fall. — Photo by Pat Bean

“You can’t travel the back roads very long without discovering a multitude of gentle people doing good for others with no expectation of gain or recognition.  The everyday kindness of the back roads more than makes up for the acts of greed in the headlines.: — Charles Kuralt. 

A fall hike in Maine’s Scarborough Marsh. — Photo by Pat Bean

A Break from the Chaos

Fall along Texas’ Gulf Coast. — Photo by Pat Bean

I don’t know about you, but I need a break from hearing people being unkind and downright nasty to each other. I’m tired of people who are rudely unaccepting of anyone or anything that is different from them or theirs.

I don’t expect everyone to think the way I think, or the way you think, but that doesn’t mean we can’t at least be civil to one another. Being different or thinking different is not a crime.

I think I need to take a back road road trip to remind me of all the good people in this world. And what better time of year to do it than in autumn, when Mother Nature showers the vistas with color.

Anyone want to join me?

Colorado’s Cumbres Pass in the autumn. — Photo by Pat Bean

Bean Pat: Breezes at  Dawn https://breezesatdawn.wordpress.com/2018/10/08/a-monday-meander-surprise-adventures/ Another blogger who likes to wander.

Pat Bean is a Lonely Planet Community Pathfinder. Her book, Travels with Maggie, is now up on Amazon at http://tinyurl.com/y8z7553y  Currently, she is writing a book, tentatively titled Bird Droppings, which is about her late-bloomer birding adventures. You can contact her at patbean@msn.com

Fall at Idaho’s Lake Walcott State Park. — Photo by Pat Bean



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“Family means putting your arms around each other and being there.” — Barbara Bush

Nana, posing for a picture with Savannah and Charlotte. Life was good.

Making Connections

After too brief a visit with family in San Antonio, and a promise to stop again on my way out of Texas, I hit the road for Texas’s Gulf Coast south of Houston. It was an easy, and familiar, 210-mile drive: Interstate 10 to Highway 36 to West Columbia, the home of my son D.C., his wife Cindi, who acts as my guardian angel when I am on the road, and their autistic daughter, Susan, who holds a special place in my heart.

One of my favorite things when I visit the Texas Gulf Coast are the moss-laden trees. I lived down there during Hurricane Carla in the 1960s, and one of the sad results that all the moss was blown away. — Photo by Pat Bean

Nearby lives his son, David, and the second of my three sons, Lewis, and their children (my grandchildren and great-grandchildren). Making and keeping connections with all these family members is important to me, especially since I usually only get to see them once a year.

The connections come easier with the adults, especially since I’ve found things to share with them – from watching Survivor with D.C (we’re both addicted to this TV reality show) to playing Settlers of Cataan with Cindi, to birding with Lewis.

But I hadn’t yet truly bonded with my two great-granddaughters, four-year-old Savannah and two-year-old Charlotte. Charlotte wasn’t even a year old when I had seen her last, and Savannah was shy with strangers, a good thing in my mind, and I let her maintain her comfortable distance.

This visit, however, Charlotte broke the ice. She climbed up on the couch beside me and we played “This Little Piggy …” She laughed and giggled and was free with her hugs, and since Savannah didn’t want to be left out, I got hugs from her too.

Life is good.

Bean Pat: A relaxing drive through the country  https://travelsandtrifles.wordpress.com/2018/07/22/lens-artists-photo-challenge-time-to-relax/ A peaceful kind of road trip.

Pat Bean is a Lonely Planet Community Pathfinder. Her book, Travels with Maggie, is now up on Amazon at http://tinyurl.com/y8z7553y  Currently, she is writing a book, tentatively titled Bird Droppings, which is about her late-bloomer birding adventures. You can contact her at patbean@msn.com

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