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Archive for the ‘aging’ Category

Foot-in-Mouth Problem

Posted in aging, Art, Birds, Journeys, Writing, tagged , , on August 7, 2024| 3 Comments »

I wonder what this little feller is trying to say. — Art by Pat Bean

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” – George Bernard Shaw

Aging My Way

As a writer, one would think I would be a good communicator. After all, that’s the primary purpose of writing.  And, if I might be a bit immodest, after 60 years of doing it, I think I do it quite well.

But when it comes to the spoken word, I fail quite miserably. I’m always using the wrong word, the wrong tone, or simply the wrong connotation. And it often gets me in trouble.

My brain seems to work better with my fingers on a keyboard than they do with my vocal cords. Simply put, I have foot-in-mouth-disease. My newspaper reporter colleagues used to even joke: “It’s a good thing Pat Bean doesn’t write the way she talks.”

While they might have been talking about my Texas accent, I think it went farther than that. In my defense, I always spell people’s name correctly – well after the first time I was embarrassed in print by calling someone Mary, when she actually spelled her name Mari.

After that, asking someone to spell their name was always the first question out of my mouth. And it’s a good think I did, because I discovered there were several other variations of the simple name Mary, not to mention what parents did with other supposedly common names.

I was thinking about this after coming across a bit of trivia this morning that noted there were over 7,000 languages spoken around the world. How did this come about? It’s no wonder people in this world can’t get along. They can’t understand each other.

Meanwhile, after my latest spoken communication gaff that unintentionally left some hurt feelings, I’ve decided perhaps I should spend more time writing than talking.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, staff writer for the Story Circle Network Journal, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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The Hare and the Tortoise

Posted in aging, Art, Dogs, Journeys, Writing, tagged , , , , , on July 24, 2024| 3 Comments »

“Some of my much older friends have 10 doctors or more, like an overeducated friend community. I have only six so far. But time lurches on, and the reality is that, before too long, I will have 10 as well. Until then, the point of life is gratitude, modest miseries aside. And gratitude is joy. – Anne Lamott, from a recent Washington Post essay/ https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2024/07/01/joy-age-life-lamott/

Aging My Way

I became a big fan of Lamott after reading her book, Bird by Bird – many years ago. I guess you could say she and I are of an age, even though my doctor collection so far is only four: primary, cardiologist, pain and orthopedic. But I do have a new knee and three heart stents, which has my friends referring to me as the Bionic Woman.

It’s just too bad I don’t have the implied powers that go with the title. This hare, who for most of her life raced through life, always afraid of missing out on something, has turned into a tortoise.

It’s actually not a bad pace. I’ve come to appreciate the benefits of having more time for reflection of this beautiful, albeit crazy and at time sordid, world. I have more time to read, piddle with my art, write and connect with the meaningful people in my life. And I still wake each morning with zest for what a new day will bring, and thankful for my canine companion Scamp, whose morning walks grease my achy joints for the day ahead.

I’m glad I was a hare, but now I’m just as happy being the tortoise.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, staff writer for the Story Circle Network Journal, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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Out of Whack

Posted in aging, Art, Journeys, Writing, tagged , , , on July 16, 2024| 3 Comments »

“Nonsense wakes up the brain cells. And it helps develop a sense of humor, which is awfully important in this day and age. Humor has a tremendous place in this sordid world. It’s more than just a matter of laughing. If you can see things out of whack, then you can see how things can be in whack.” – Dr. Seuss

While sunflowers do not make me laugh, they do make me smile. — Art by Pat Bean

Aging My Way

I took almost all of my grandkids, and I have 15, on their first roller coaster rides. I felt that was a good thing because I once read that riding roller coasters gives the brain a boost.

My first roller coaster ride was on the Texas State Fair’s Comet. It was made of wood and I can still hear the clack-clack-clack sound it made as it twisted and dived on its journey, which I always felt was way too short. So, of course I got in the line for another ride, and then another, and another.

My last roller coaster ride was on one called the Dueling Dragons at Disney World in Florida with a young grandson, and I remember it well.

That’s a good thing because roller coaster-riding is over for this 85-year-old broad. I’ll simply have to find other ways to give my little gray cells a boost.

Thankfully I can still find many things to laugh about. It’s kind of easy when you live in a world out of whack. Even so, I hope Dr. Seuss is right — in that seeing things out of whack we can find a way to put them in whack.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, staff writer for the Story Circle Network Journal, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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Friday Morning Reflections

Posted in aging, journalism, Journeys, Writing on July 12, 2024| 1 Comment »

Aging My Way

After 60 years and almost as many books, the novelist and travel writer, Paul Theroux, who is 83, says he will stop writing when he falls out of his chair. He says ordering his thoughts on paper is not a job but a process of my life. And he dismisses writers’ complaints about the hellish difficulty of being a writer as a dishonest complaint.

As I came across these words from one of my favorite authors this morning, I thought about my own life. I began writing when I was 25, which means I have also been writing for 60 years. And if I added up my 37 years of daily newspaper stories, my one published book, and over 1,500 blogs on this site, I suspect I’ve written as many words as Paul – and like him, I’m still writing — and still love doing it. 

And today’s Bean Pat goes to all out there who still love what they are doing in life. It means there were at least a few good choices made as we struggled through the years.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, staff writer for the Story Circle Network Journal, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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Super Woman Myth

Posted in aging, Art, Writing on July 11, 2024| Leave a Comment »

Not pleased with this quick sketch, which I titled The Grouch. It’s kind of pathetic.

“Sometimes you’re great, and sometimes you’re pathetic. Sometimes you’re tired, and sometimes you break down. It should be like that. And nothing should be glossed over.” Cher

Aging My Way

I’ve glossed over a hell of a lot in my life, and mostly that’s been a good thing. I’ve needed in the past to feel like I could handle every and anything – and mostly I did. But this year has been hard, and has required a reckoning with myself. Cher’s words have helped.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, staff writer for Story Circle Network Journal, and the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited). Pat is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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I’m Taking Einstein’s Advice

Posted in aging, Art, Birds, Journeys, Writing on July 10, 2024| 3 Comments »

          “Someone just honked to get me out of my parking space faster, so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.” – Facebook post that had be belly laughing.

Aging My Way

OK. I give up. I’ve been trying to write a blog for over two weeks now. I get a good start on one, say about 200 words, which is about half the number of words in an average blog, and then I get stuck. What I’ve written goes into the trash, or sometimes in a file to be relooked at another day.

Well, if I’m to believe Albert Einstein, who says “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it,” I need to try a different approach.

So, at least for a little while, my blog is simply going to be a sharing of my art and a quote that is meaningful to me. I also want to restart my Bean Pat feature, which is a pat on the back to something I, personally, like.

And today’s BEAN PAT is for writers and goes to Dawn Downey’s One Damn Fine Sentence blog.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

 

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Living in a Changing World

Posted in aging, Art, Birds, Journeys, Writing, tagged , on June 20, 2024| 4 Comments »

I titled this Jungle Aviary. Keeping up with today’s changing world is as hard as finding the possible birds in this charcoal drawing. Art by Pat Bean

Aging My Way

I was born in 1939, before going to the moon and beyond was hardly even a dream. It was a world in which every home didn’t have a television, computers didn’t exist — and racism was rampant.

While the N word was never spoken in my home, and my parents didn’t believe they were prejudiced, I was taught that separate but equal was the right way to live when it came to Blacks and Whites.

Observing the world, especially as a young reporter, I quickly realized how laughable that belief was. The deck was stacked against anyone but the WASPs.

Then came my acknowledgement that sexual orientation comes in more than two flavors — and I quickly saw that the world was a hard place for those who didn’t fall into one of those two categories. Sadly, my youngest brother was one of those. I don’t think he even accepted himself, and he became one of the early victims of AIDS.

I would like to think the world is an easier place for one of my own children, who came out as gay back in the early 1980s. And even easier – although rarely anyone of whatever persuasion has an easy life – for my dear granddaughter and her dear wife who live next door to me and have become my emergency caretakers.

Meanwhile, the world has changed so much that at 85, I’m having trouble keeping up. And yesterday, I committed what today has become a politically incorrect blunder.

My cardiologist’s medical assistant spoke in a heavily accented voice, and I was having problems understanding him. At one point, I asked him where he was from. “California,” he replied.

After he left, I looked at my granddaughter, who had taken me to my doctor’s appointment, and said: “I shouldn’t have asked that, should I?”

“It’s become a very diverse America, Nana,” my granddaughter replied, noting that she had just completed 40 hours of diversity training for her new job.

Gads! It’s hard keeping up with today’s world, especially at 85. But I guess if I’m going to keep on breathing, I need to keep on trying.

Be kind out there everyone!

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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Getting Unstuck

Posted in aging, Art, Books, Journeys, Writing, tagged , , , , on June 12, 2024| 3 Comments »

Having writer’s block is like being stuck up a tree with no way to get down. — Art by Pat Bean

The Write Words

I moderate a small email chat group called Writer2Writer for Story Circle Network. Recently I asked participants to name their favorite author and then write about why.

I started the chat off by quoting Mary Oliver, one of my favorite authors, whose instructions for living a life is to “Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.” And since Mary was an American poet who won the National Book Award and the Pulitzer Prize, when Mary said tell, I’m sure she meant write about it. The words responded with me because that’s what I’ve been trying to do for most of my life.

But lately, I’ve been rather stuck. And that leads me to comment on a response to my writing prompt. It was from Stephanie Raffelock, who wrote: “A battered, dog eared, highlighted and underlined copy of May Sarton’s Journal of a Solitude sits on the table next to my chair. I can quote the opening line without opening the book: “Begin here. It is raining.” 

“Such simple lines,” wrote Stephanie. “Crisp and real. Who knew that they would lead to years of journals, which in turn would lead to a first short story and later, essays. Begin here. That’s all I have to do to start writing on any day,” said my writing colleague.

And those words from Mary, Stephanie and May were exactly what I needed to get unstuck. I immediately sat down and filled a couple of pages in my current journal, and then started writing this blog.

Thank you, Mary, Stephanie and May.  

So, who, my treasured readers, is your favorite author and why?

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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Learning to Be More Gracious

Posted in aging, Art, Journeys, Writing, tagged , , , , on June 9, 2024| 3 Comments »

Art by Pat Bean

Aging My Way

On March 31, three days after I suffered a heart attack, the entry in my journal reads Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! The words were written by my granddaughter Shanna because I was hooked up to medical paraphernalia. As an afterthought, she noted that I was in Room 516 at Tucson Medical Center. And I should note that just 11 days earlier, I had a total knee replacement.

The next entry in my journal wasn’t made until May 14, when I recorded a quote from North Woods, the book by Daniel Mason that I was reading at the time. The quote, “Love made the old do the same dumb things as the young.” The words hit home with me because of having seen – and done – just that behavior during my 85-year journey through life.

The next thoughts, which went through my little gray cells after once again posting in my journal, was that not writing about the bad and scary after-effects of my heart attack was a familiar pattern. The many journals that I have kept for over 50 years contain mostly pleasant thoughts and good times.

To my way of thinking, this behavior isn’t altogether wrong, well except for a couple of times in my life when I needed to actually accept a bad situation and move on from it. One of those times was a lengthy period in the late 1970s when the door of the skeleton closet, in which I had shoved over 20 years of unpleasant happenings, burst open.

It took me a year to live through that episode before coming out a happier, more fulfilled person, one ready to grab all the gusto life had to offer, but also fiercely independent believing I didn’t need anyone to take care of me but me. This false notion was flung into the garbage bin when I recently learned that my granddaughter Shanna and her wife Dawn, who live next door to me and who were there for me during my knee replacement and three heart surgeries, were keeping their phones on at night in case of an emergency call from me.

Shit, shit, shit. I cried for three days before finally accepting that I should be more grateful for their love and care then being upset that I wasn’t living up to my own independent expectations.        

So why am I writing about this. Well, it’s just what writers do — and because the focus of my recent blogs has been about aging – and that’s what I’m currently doing. While I’ve always felt blessed that Shanna and Dawn were nearby, graciously accepting their help, and that of others, hasn’t been easy for me.

But I’m learning.

Meanwhile, my life is still good, and I’m going to focus on that – and be grateful for all the good things my journals have recorded.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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Sunshine and Rain

Posted in aging, Art, Birds, Journeys, Writing on May 20, 2024| 3 Comments »

The saguaro are currently blooming in Tucson, thanks to the rain and sun we’ve enjoyed this spring. — Art by Pat Bean

Aging My Way

When you’re 85, and if you’re lucky, your head is full of memories, and you never know when one of them is going to pop up. Like this morning when I was reading a post by Anne Lamott, one of my favorite writing-advice authors.

She was talking about taking a walk with an old friend and mentioned that they were wearing raincoats because although it was sunny, it was drizzling off and on. “In my family, we always announced during a sun shower that it must be a monkey’s birthday somewhere,” she wrote.

Her family was more positive than mine, because on reading those words I clearly heard my Southern grandmother say that if it were raining and the sun was shining, then the devil must be beating his wife.

Another saying for a day when the sun is shining through the rain, wrote Lamott, is that it’s a day when the foxes are having a wedding.

 A bit of research turned out there were even more old sayings for such a day, including a witch making butter in Poland and day for a parish fair in Germany. And in the Appalachians in this country, the locals might also say that the devil is kissing his wife.

Now I have even more memories stuffed into this old brain of mine. I’m just glad to be remembering some of them.     

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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