Does a Dog Count?
The number of people living alone is increasing, up noticeably since 1990, I recently read.
Not surprising to me, as it’s how many of my friends live. I’ve now spent exactly half of my 82 years living alone. And I love it. While I have married friends who are quite happy sharing living quarters, I also have married friends who envy my lifestyle.
Looking back, I now think I’ve aways wanted to live alone. It’s amazing what you discover about yourself as you grow older, like why I sabotaged my own search for a true soul mate after I divorced the man I had married when I was just 16. He certainly hadn’t been that soul mate my heart so desired.
But wanting to live alone doesn’t mean that I don’t want people in my life. As Barbara Streisand said, and I believe: “People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.”
Perhaps it’s selfish, but I want to eat when I want to eat, go to bed when I want too, whether it’s 7 p.m. or 2 a.m., and be alone when I want to be alone.
One realization that I’ve always felt this way came to me when I realized that in my visualization of a lifetime dream of traveling this country full-time – which I did for nine years in a small RV – no other person was ever with me.
Well, I did have Maggie during my travels. And now I have Scamp as a canine companion. Maybe technically, I don’t live alone. And while I can go to bed anytime I want, Scamp demands that I wake up with the sun to take him for a walk.
Instead of being grumpy about this, I realize he’s my balance to a better life. I need to get up, and I need to keep moving.
The truth is, each of us, has to find what works for themselves. There’s no one right way. I feel blessed because I have found what works for me.
Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is a wondering-wanderer, avid reader, enthusiastic birder, Lonely Planet Community Pathfinder, Story Circle Network board member, author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), and is always searching for life’s silver lining.
Pat Bean's blog 
“Perhaps it’s selfish, but I want to eat when I want to eat, go to bed when I want too, whether it’s 7 p.m. or 2 a.m., and be alone when I want to be alone.”
I don’t think that’s selfish at all. It just makes for a content life. Having said that, I will readily admit that I am ever so happy to have Mary in my life. I would not want to be without her. We both seem to pretty much like you and still have each other.
Sounds like we are both blessed Pit.
👍
My mom lived with someone (siblings, husbands, children) until her late 80s. Now she lives alone in her trailer, frequently visited by adult children, other relatives. At 98, I don’t think she’s ever been more content than she is now. Living alone is not by itself a bad thing, as you eloquently point out.
Thanks for commenting Marie. I’m glad your mom is happy — and that’s she is frequently visited. Living alone and feeling alone are two different things.
A dog companion is one of the best. Total loyalty, devotion, and trust. My husband and I also have a cat but as they say, cats have staff. She is loving – when she wants to be. One sad note, one of our dear dachshunds is struggling with health issues and I fear we will not have her much longer. But as pet people, we know how that is and owe a dignified death to a true companion.
It’s a shame dogs don’t have our life span. I’ve lost three canine companions that I still miss. Thanks for commenting Lucy.
Dogs always count.
Yes they do Kathy. Thanks
I began living alone for the first time 4 years ago when my youngest bought a home. I love it.