Dictionaries give the definition of “perception” as: The ability to see, hear or become aware of something through the senses … a way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something … a mental impression. …intuitive understanding and insight … and memory, by which an organism becomes aware of and interprets external stimuli.
Hmmm…
This makes me think that the multi-polarized perceptions rampantly raging across America today are blurring facts and truths. But what facts. and whose truths?
I recently watched the second episode of Season 41 of Survivor, a television series that I’ve been a fan of since it first premiered over 20 years ago. The person who outwits, outplays and survives everyone else walks away with a million dollars.
The program has evolved over time, with contestants better understanding that it’s a game in which lying is almost always crucial to winning. As this is part of the game, it doesn’t bother me, unlike how I feel about liars who don’t speak the truth in real life. To put it bluntly I abhor them.
Anyway, on this recent Survivor episode, three women on the challenge-losing team were discussing who to vote out of the game. Their choices varied, prompting one of the women to note that it was all a matter of individual perception, because each of them viewed what was in their own best interest differently.
The older I get, the more I come to understand how people, who even can have the exact same experiences, can see those experiences and events quite differently. This has been especially notable among my own family of five children, who all seem to have grown up with five different mothers. The truth is, time combined with the wisdom of years, has totally changed my own perception of the mother who I thought I had been.
Another simple example of my coming to understand the power of perception came to me during a recent visit to my doctor because of back pain. One of the first questions I was asked was: On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your pain? I’ve actually been asked that question on many occasions, including when I was giving birth to my children.
I always thought the question was a silly one because it had no specific comparison value. This time, I actually voiced the thought, and the nurse quickly agreed with me.
“You’re right. Its only value is how the patient feels about pain. Some never rate severe pain higher than a four, while other patients rate a hangnail as a 12.” Enlightening, I thought, as my perception of the value of the question changed with the answer. Perceptions, I realized, continually flow like water instead of being poured concrete that hardens as it dries.
Sadly, thinking about this gave me no answers as to how to solve the destructive, polarized beliefs and actions roaring across America, and the world, today. Perhaps it will have to begin with simply being kind to one another – well, at least that’s my perception. What’s yours?
Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is a wondering-wanderer, avid reader, enthusiastic birder, Lonely Planet Community Pathfinder, Story Circle Network board member, author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), and is always searching for life’s silver lining.
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I imagine the only actualization one could come to would be that some people’s perceptions overlap to form common beliefs, which I don’t believe are as malleable as we would hope them to be. We can be the type to try to hammer and bend others into a common understanding (which is not entirely without its merits though I would lean toward this being a useless and egocentric practice) or we can be the type to allow others their perception untainted by our own and find a way to exist with them without being at odds. Unfortunately, the latter requires both types to be able to agree to, pardon the cliché, live and let live. And therein lies the difficulty, because this is in direct conflict with one of the type’s ability, personality, and perception. I think you can agree to be kind to others, but you can’t agree for others to be kind to you in return. LOL Long story short, I think we mostly agree and share the perception that kindness is the best option. I also realize there are infinite varying degrees of these two ideologies, and it is not my intention to make it an either or situation, just that it was simpler to explain my point this way. Should have said long story longer. LOL Great post.
You’re right. Kindness doesn’t always begat kindness. But it can’t hurt, even if it only comes from one direction. Thanks for the longer story Joseph.
that perceived mother comment sure hit home. all i things i did behind the scene–obviously were never discerned by the child. i had two and each view their mother very differently as well. sometimes that hurts.
Rosepoint,
It used to hurt me, too, when my children saw things one way and I saw them another. Time has cured that. All I want now is that they love me even if they think my choices were or are wrong. I once tried hard to be the perfect mother … how foolish of me. I was an imperfect mother, but they were never perfect children either.