Poet and Novelist May Sarton believed that the best artists were androgynous, and that it was the masculine in a woman and the feminine in a man that gave creativity its spark.
Coming across that idea while reading Journal of a Solitude this morning, at a point in life when so many new terms for gender identity are being tossed about, brought my reading to a pause for a brain-think.
Just a few weeks ago, I had to ask a gay granddaughter and her wife, who were treating me to lunch at a downtown Tucson restaurant, what the waitress meant when she asked what pronoun we preferred. He/She, Him/Her, They?
“She/her,” my granddaughter had replied.
Back home, I did a little gender identity research on my own to reinforce my understanding of the issue. The research added the term non-binary to my brain cells. That’s the “they” of the waitress’ question. Some people, I learned, didn’t identify as either male or female.
Being as I’m 82 years old, and was quite unworldly until I was well-past 30, learning about differing sexual realities of humans was something that came late in my education. Fortunately, I had a good teacher, a gay journalism colleague who struggled with sexual discrimination back in the 1970s.
He was a religious person, and we were good enough friends that I asked him how he felt about religion’s stance that being homosexual was wrong. His reply was: “God made me this way, so who am I to disagree with him.”
I agreed, and never had a problem from that point forward with accepting people for who they were. The only thing that matters to me is whether you are a caring person who does no harm to other people.
But what stopped me while reading Journal of a Solitude this morning was thinking about what May said about creativity. While I’ve always been thankful I’m female and not male, I’ve often thought that I also have what many might consider some strong masculine traits.
I think that’s true. And I think they have served me well. Perhaps it’s time to simply let people be who they are without any judgment. What do you think?
Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is a wondering-wanderer, avid reader, enthusiastic birder, Lonely Planet Community Pathfinder, Story Circle Network board member, author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), and is always searching for life’s silver lining.
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Well said. You stated this simply and easily – good to read on a subject that can go on detours for explanations. Thank you
Thanks Ethel. It was one of those blogs where the editing consisted of cutting out all the unnecessary so as to stick to the point. Thanks for seeing that.
I think we tend to judge people when they make us uncomfortable. I find it happens less and less the closer I get to being an old lady. Thanks for this reminder about Journal of a Solitude, old and tattered on my shelf. Sarton was quite the writer. As are you, Pat!
That’s one of the good things about being an old broad. I miss my hiking, skiing and rafting days, but I love who I’ve become. It’s my time to connect all the dots of our lives. Thanks for the kind words Linda.
Pat, you have given me another book to read. Thanks. I have a very dear friend who is gay and have watched her struggle in a conservative, tight-laced family in Chicago. The fears that I have never had to face, the strength it takes to live with the judgments and cruel jokes, she has weathered well, but sadly.