The Palo Verde tree and Mission Cactus growing in Tucson’s Tono Chul Park have made a connection. Without the support of the tree, the cactus could never have grown so large, while the large pads of the cactus help capture rain water that gives the tree extra moisture. — Photo by Pat Bean
“When you feel a connection, a gut connection, a heart connection, it’s a very special thing.” Alfre Woodard
Looking in all the Right Places
There is something special, as Alfre said, about making a connection. She was talking about that love/lust thing, which thankfully I’ve experienced a few times in my life. While these have all bloomed and faded, they’ve left behind memories, both good, and bad, that put under the microscope help me define who I am.
One tree, or two trees? Either way, there is a connection between them. I do love trees. — Photo by Pat Bean
Now, in my seventh decade, I find connections that define who I am in different ways. Mostly they come through travel, books and family relationships, the latter of which, when I think hard enough about them, leave me understanding that I was at times better than I gave myself credit for, but also sometimes not as good as I thought I was.
It’s a complicated thing, and sometimes I simply decide to give up thinking about whether I was a good, strong mother, or a weak, spineless one. .
It’s much more rewarding and fascinating to come across things in my travels that connect to my life, like a Chinaberry tree that reminded me of the many hours I spent up in one in my grandmother’s back yard – until the day I discovered a rattlesnake sunning on the rock I used to boost myself up into the branches. The snake scurried away as fast as I did. It was probably as afraid of me as I was of it, but I never climbed that tree again.
The perfect setting for making a connection with another human, I thought when I saw these chairs sitting in a Flagstaff, Arizona, RV park. — Photo by Pat Bean
All this came back to as I watched a white-breasted nuthatch in a Chinaberry tree growing next to where I was camping in my RV, Gypsy Lee. Time, I realized, had taught me to fear the snake when it was where I would place my foot, but not to fear it when it wasn’t there. It was a well-learned lesson that gave me many years of freedom in the outdoors and the courage to face the unknown unafraid.
Books, meanwhile, let me know that I’m not alone in my odd ways of thinking. I delight when I come across a person in a memoir, or a character in a novel, who sees the world as I do, which is through rose-colored glasses despite accepting the reality that the world is chaotic and often unfair.
These are the kinds of connections I never had time to make when I was younger. I was too busy simply living life. But suddenly I find them fascinating. These connections to my life happen often these days, and they enrich my days. So I have come to search for them – in all the right places.
Bean’s Pat: The Gift of Time http://tinyurl.com/lskfbh4 Tosty Mae makes me laugh. And I loved this blog about unwelcome “connections.”
Pat Bean's blog 
Hi, Pat. I tried to find a way to email you but couldn’t. Unless there are 2 Alfre Woodards, the one you are quoting is probably the actress. So it would be “she” instead of “he”. And I don’t know — she might have been talking about those two pink chairs too. I love your photo of the chairs, and you’re right about them in your caption. Just sitting down next to each other and talking is a fine way to make a connection.
Thanks Susan. For both your kind words and the correction which was a big oops on my part. I corrected the gender in the blog. I loved those chairs. There were some yellow ones, too.
Have I mentioned how much I enjoy your writing? Not only is it eloquent and thought provoking, but so often it reminds me so much myself. Thank you for that.
I love the ways in which you highlight the message in your writing with your photos. And ‘ya gotta love the Palo Verde tree. The way it contains chlorophyll in it’s bark, so that it can continue to photosynthesis when it drops it’s leaves in a drought. Life is just amazing, in all it’s shades and hues.
Thanks Judy. I do look for the connections, and my love of nature usually takes me there.
Hi Pat, Happy New Year,
All the connections, the places we touch others. They make us who we are, and we leave our footprints across the world.
Jim
I was telling someone the other day about the connections I’ve made through blogging — and I named you as an example. We are different in almost all aspects except we share a similar outlook on life — and a love of nature. Thank you Jim for being a part of my blogging world.
Always a pleasure to stop by, 🙂