Pat Bean's blog

“Life is a train of moods like a string of beads; and as we pass through them they prove to be many colored lenses, which paint the world their own hue, and each shows us only what lies in its own focus.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Me, in 2009 — Photo by Kim Perrin

Bright, Loud and Hopefully a Bit Sassy

When I was growing up, somebody was always shushing me. I had, still have, a high-pitched voice, and when I get excited about something I get loud. I got excited a lot – and thankfully I still do; and although I’ve learned to moderately moderate my voice, I still get shushed.

It used to hurt to be told that. These days I simply try to tone myself down. For one thing, I have learned that the people who would be my friends accept me despite my flaw. And for another, I’ve learned there is only so much that I can turn down the volume without being so conscious of this flaw that I become a voiceless shell sitting in a corner somewhere.

I think that last part is what made me become a writer. I can be as loud as I want on paper and offend no one’s ears – of course there are other ways to offend and I’ve done those – and still do.

That’s probably why, when faced with the question of what hue describes me, I immediately thought of my tie-dyed T-shirts. And the one I’ve pictured here is the one I wore on my 70^th birthday when I jumped out of an airplane for the first time in my life.

I like being me, even though, like the many-hued T-shirts, I’m a bit on the loud side. Still,  if I ever make it back to this earth, I have to admit I want a voice that sounds more like Lauren Bacall’s or Terry Tempest Williams’ than the one I was born with in this life.

Bean Pat: NaNoWriMo http://tinyurl.com/k6oze99  A good blog for anyone thinking about doing NaNo, which I am.