“We do not make friends. We recognize then.”
I Got It Wrong
Sometimes a soul mate isn’t even human. Pepper knew we belonged together the first time she saw me, and said with her eyes that she was going home with me.
I was too young, too naïve and too needy when I married. I almost immediately knew I had got it wrong, but was too chicken for too many years to end it. I’m not whining. Life is what you make it — and my reward were five children, the loves of my life.
But when, at 40, I found myself a free woman, I longed with all my heart and body to find my soul mate. I was sure he was out there somewhere.
Well, if he was, we never met.
Instead, at some point along my pot-hole filled life, I discovered that a soul mate wasn’t always, or only, a companion and lover. A soul mate could simply be a “friend.”
I had soul mates before I recognized them, like the much older woman who was the first to know I wanted to be a writer and who encouraged me.
I thought about her this morning. Her name was Lorraine Bright, and while she is now somewhere out there in that great beyond, the influence this woman had on my life still lives within my soul. We were friends for many years, always picking up right where we had left off even if we hadn’t seen each other for half a dozen years.
I have a few other friends like that –younger and older, male and female, religious and atheists – among my many acquaintances. They include a male wordsmith colleague who shares my idea of what being a journalist means; and a woman young enough to be my daughter with whom I’ve shared many an escapade and adventure. We’ve joked that we will always be friends because we each know where the skeletons of the other are buried.
There are others, each recognized because some part of them connected with some part of me. Perhaps it was that we shared a love of reading, or an understanding of writer demons, or a thirst for knowledge, or that we both had a true zest for life that didn’t involve material things.
I’ve connected on just such levels recently with a few fellow bloggers.
Like the people whose faces I can physically touch, these soul mates are ageless and sexless, as age and gender play no role in who is a soul mate and who is not.
Each of them is a reason for me to daily count my blessings – and I do.
Bean’s Pat: Blackbird or Meadowlark? http://tinyurl.com/kt2fxnf This one’s for the birders among my readers. Or for anyone who just likes to look at awesome birds.
Pat Bean's blog 
I easily connect with this perspective on friendship across the ages, across gender. i do believe that friendship feeds the soul. But what happens when significant relationships just fall fallow? Have you ever found that a relationship with a soul mate just changed, petered out and you weren’t clear about why?
Yes. It happens. We are always changing, and sometimes the changes take us in different directions, and those whom we once walked beside are now walking in an opposite direction. It hurts. It’s happened to me.
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
https://www.facebook.com/notes/frankie-perezs-mindgym/reason-season-lifetime-poem/10150270924652782?ref=nf
Just like you came into my life Sam. I’ll be in Harker Heights in November, and am looking forward to our annual lunch.
I’ll be looking forward to our lunch, too, Pat, and hope that I’ll be better able to walk to it then. Just lemme know when you get into town.
So often we think of a soul mate being the person we are to marry. I like the idea of our soul mates being friends too no matter what their age or gender.
Me, too. Colline — especially since I never found a partner who was a soul mate. I’m neither poorer, or richer, because of it. Life is simply what it is — and I am happy. .
I share your thoughts on soul mates. I have friends that I rarely see but feel very close to. When we can get together, the years between visits just dissolve. I’ve also made similar connections through blogging. I find these connections not just to be ageless and sexless but also timeless.
Nice thoughts Pat, Always good to remember friends.
Jim
Love this, Pat. Well said!
Thanks Len.
I have two friends like that, and they sure are a blessing. I’m glad you’ve found some along your travels. Thanks for visiting me – curious as to how you found me. The blogs in your sidebar aren’t familiar…but nice to meet you regardless!
Tina @ Life is Good
Thanks Tina. I’m always checking out new blogs, usually through recommendations of other bloggers. I’m glad we found each other, too.