“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your head and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.– Steve Jobs
I suspected when I visited Rocky Mountain National Park this past fall that it would be for the last time, which made seeing it all the more precious. — Photo by Pat Bean
Changed Perspective
I was born at a time when southern men thought it was a good think to keep women barefoot and pregnant. I lived that way for a while, mostly because I didn’t know anything different.
And seeing the Blue Ridge Mountains this past fall was a first in my lifetime, I suspect it will also never happen again. — Photo by Pat Bean
And then I sat in front of a television with my children and watched Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon and utter the words that have continued to live in my little gray cells: “That’s one step for man, one giant leap for mankind.”
The words were spoken at a time when forward leaps in my own thoughts and actions were exploding. I had become a working mother in a field – journalism – that exposed me to a larger world than I knew had existed.
I became knowledgeable about Vietnam, body bags, equal rights for women, and equal rights and integration for Blacks. I learned that that life was not fair, which was as devastating to me as learning there was no Santa Claus when I was 10.
But since I now live in the desert, I expect to see many more cactus blooms … Photo by Pat Bean
I struggled, as all caring parents do, to raise my children to be honest, hard-working, contributing members of society. I watched as the Cold War ended and the Berlin Wall came down, and as terrorists, including the ones who lived next door, eroded our sense of security.
Life became easier for me at last, even as I watched it become more difficult for my children and grandchildren. Opportunities and apple pie are harder to come by these days. I stuck in the backdoor of a newspaper without the proper education that even I required when I moved up to being the one who hired reporters.
And then along comes the Internet, which truly has changed everything. I can’t imagine living without it, yet I grieve for all that it has taken away.
… and many more Tucson sunsets — Photo by Pat Bean
Finally, I come to today when I have to accept that there are fewer days ahead of me than behind me. I especially felt it on my cross-country journey this past fall. This will probably be the last time I visit Rocky Mountain National Park, I thought, as I drove Trail Ridge Road through the awesome mountains; probably the last time I’ll ever drive the Blue Ridge Parkway. It was the same for each of the many sights I experienced on the journey.
Realizing how fast the clock is ticking away has made me look harder at everything, to breathe in each spectacular landscape more deeply, and truly, perhaps for the first time in my life, live in the moment. That’s not a bad thing. Actually it has been rather exhilarating, and certainly has made me more thoughtful.
I got to thinking about precious moments this morning after listening to the Rolling Stones belt out “This Could Be the Last Time.” The musical number was a YouTube video posted on my blog pick of the day. Perhaps you would like to listen, too.
The Wondering Wanderer’s blog pick of the day.
Bean’s Pat: Flickr Comments http://tinyurl.com/brllod2 Maybe the Last Time – but hopefully not.
Pat Bean's blog 
Bit by bit I’m learning to find my own way, pursue my own path. Hearing your story was fascinating. Thanks for sharing it Pat! [And thank you for the lovely write-up in SCN Journal!]
Poignant, and very well written.
Thanks Mike.
This is a great post, Pat, and reminds me of how much more often I’ve been thinking similar thoughts. I think it’s one of the gifts of age to realize how fleeting beauty and happiness are and therefore, all the more appreciated. F’rinstance, if you knew that the piece of chocolate you were about to put in your mouth were to be the last one, wouldn’t you savor it all the more? Yup. *G*
Pat, enjoyed your words in “Last Times.” I have thoughts of “this might be the last time we drive this highway or do this/that”. Not sad or pessimistic, just knowing how things change as we are journeying through this period of our wonderful, blessed life. As you said: Live in the moment. We are enjoying where we are now and what we are doing now. Reminds me of a post on FB: Give yourself permission to immediately walk away from anything that gives you bad vibes. There is no need to explain or make sense of it. Just trust the little inner voice when it’s telling you. Thank you for your interesting words and awesome photograpy!
Great post Pat, and very nicely written. I’d be willing to bet that your list of ‘first time ever!’ far exceeds your list of ‘last times’. Perspective is everything, and there’s never a shortage of discoveries waiting to be made. Excitement is a state of mind.
I think I live my whole life afraid I was going to miss something. So I’m sure you’re right. Just hadn’t thought of it that way. Once again you make me think.
A brave post, I think.
My kids read into it that I was feeling down and blue, when exactly the opposite was how I was feeling. It’s like I’m finally learning how to be alive in each moment, and as I said, it is exhilarating.
I was wondering about your kids’ reaction, because if they are anything like me when my mother tosses off comments like, “I may not be here next year,” I don’t want to hear it. But it’s not pessimistic or negative: it’s an acknowledgement of what is. And that is freeing.
I was surprised by their reactions. It’s strange how I was on an entirely different wave length from them.
They are responding from the natural fear of having to contemplate losing you. If it had been anyone else, their reaction might have been different (or maybe not).