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Learning to Be More Gracious

June 9, 2024 by Pat Bean

Art by Pat Bean

Aging My Way

On March 31, three days after I suffered a heart attack, the entry in my journal reads Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! The words were written by my granddaughter Shanna because I was hooked up to medical paraphernalia. As an afterthought, she noted that I was in Room 516 at Tucson Medical Center. And I should note that just 11 days earlier, I had a total knee replacement.

The next entry in my journal wasn’t made until May 14, when I recorded a quote from North Woods, the book by Daniel Mason that I was reading at the time. The quote, “Love made the old do the same dumb things as the young.” The words hit home with me because of having seen – and done – just that behavior during my 85-year journey through life.

The next thoughts, which went through my little gray cells after once again posting in my journal, was that not writing about the bad and scary after-effects of my heart attack was a familiar pattern. The many journals that I have kept for over 50 years contain mostly pleasant thoughts and good times.

To my way of thinking, this behavior isn’t altogether wrong, well except for a couple of times in my life when I needed to actually accept a bad situation and move on from it. One of those times was a lengthy period in the late 1970s when the door of the skeleton closet, in which I had shoved over 20 years of unpleasant happenings, burst open.

It took me a year to live through that episode before coming out a happier, more fulfilled person, one ready to grab all the gusto life had to offer, but also fiercely independent believing I didn’t need anyone to take care of me but me. This false notion was flung into the garbage bin when I recently learned that my granddaughter Shanna and her wife Dawn, who live next door to me and who were there for me during my knee replacement and three heart surgeries, were keeping their phones on at night in case of an emergency call from me.

Shit, shit, shit. I cried for three days before finally accepting that I should be more grateful for their love and care then being upset that I wasn’t living up to my own independent expectations.        

So why am I writing about this. Well, it’s just what writers do — and because the focus of my recent blogs has been about aging – and that’s what I’m currently doing. While I’ve always felt blessed that Shanna and Dawn were nearby, graciously accepting their help, and that of others, hasn’t been easy for me.

But I’m learning.

Meanwhile, my life is still good, and I’m going to focus on that – and be grateful for all the good things my journals have recorded.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

Posted in aging, Art, Journeys, Writing | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments »

Sunshine and Rain

May 20, 2024 by Pat Bean

The saguaro are currently blooming in Tucson, thanks to the rain and sun we’ve enjoyed this spring. — Art by Pat Bean

Aging My Way

When you’re 85, and if you’re lucky, your head is full of memories, and you never know when one of them is going to pop up. Like this morning when I was reading a post by Anne Lamott, one of my favorite writing-advice authors.

She was talking about taking a walk with an old friend and mentioned that they were wearing raincoats because although it was sunny, it was drizzling off and on. “In my family, we always announced during a sun shower that it must be a monkey’s birthday somewhere,” she wrote.

Her family was more positive than mine, because on reading those words I clearly heard my Southern grandmother say that if it were raining and the sun was shining, then the devil must be beating his wife.

Another saying for a day when the sun is shining through the rain, wrote Lamott, is that it’s a day when the foxes are having a wedding.

 A bit of research turned out there were even more old sayings for such a day, including a witch making butter in Poland and day for a parish fair in Germany. And in the Appalachians in this country, the locals might also say that the devil is kissing his wife.

Now I have even more memories stuffed into this old brain of mine. I’m just glad to be remembering some of them.     

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

Posted in aging, Art, Birds, Journeys, Writing | 3 Comments »

A Picture Worth a Thousand Words

May 14, 2024 by Pat Bean

My first meeting with Scamp. Photo by Kim Perrin, who drove 700-miles roundtrip to bring him to me.

Each day, a page of photo memories drops into my email. The one that dropped today shows my first meeting with my canine companion Scamp. I first named him Harley, but quickly changed it to Scamp – because that is what he truly is.

According to the Ogden, Utah, shelter from where he was adopted, he was eight months old and a schnauzer-mix. He weighed 17 pounds, most of which was a tangled mass of matted hair. While he showed no sign of physical abuse, he had clearly been neglected – and was desperate to attach himself to someone. And I was the willing sole who had made a 1,000-mile roundtrip to become just that.

It’s a good thing I didn’t know how much trouble he was going to be in the coming weeks.      

He peed in the house, tore up 13 rolls of toilet paper he managed to get off the holder, destroyed half a dozen of my writing pens, some of which left permanent ink on my carpet, and chewed up my dining room table and chairs.

If I hadn’t fallen in love with him the second that he first jumped on my lap, he would have quickly gone back to the shelter.

Thankfully, by walking him every hour or so, I had him house trained in three weeks, and slowly he began to learn what toys were his and what were mine. Today, he’s never far from my side, or my lap if he can manage it. I do have one large chair that he and I both fit into.

Even so, it’s not easy as he turned out not to be a 25-pound schnauzer-mix but a 45-pound Siberian husky-shih tzu-mix.

My granddaughter Shanna says he landed with his butt in the butter. I think he and I both did.

Anyway, talk about a picture being worth a thousand words, the one above surely is. And the one below is of Scamp today.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

Posted in aging, Dogs, Journeys, Writing | Leave a Comment »

Dung Beetles vs. Silver Linings

May 3, 2024 by Pat Bean

Dung beetles enrich the soil so plants can flourish. Did you know that? — Art by Pat Bean

Aging My Way

One of my favorite bloggers, Dawn Downey, (https://dawndowney.substack.com/) claimed silver linings clash with her complexion and in the next instant, she said, dung beetles were her gurus.

Since silver linings are my mantra, you would suppose that I would be a bit upset with Dawn. But you would be wrong. Dawn gave me another perspective to ponder – and I learned a lot about dung beetles while doing it. Because she sparked my interest, I did an internet search to discover more about dung beetles, and discovered they actually are amazing creatures.

I mean, did you know that nocturnal African dung beetles can navigate and orient themselves using the Milky Way? And that some dung beetles can pull over 1,000 times their own weight.

Long ago, I wisely came to the conclusion that one learns more from those who think differently from me than those who agree with me. That mind set has stood me well, and often pushed me to better paths in life than what I was taught as a child growing up in the South during the 1940s and’50s.

For one thing, it’s not in the best interest of women to stay barefoot and pregnant. And just because you were born in Texas doesn’t mean you’re better than those who weren’t. That, at least was, my grandmother’s way of thinking.

I learned many other things during my journey through life that make me thankful for having diversity in my friends and acquaintances, and I hope they can say the same about me. I’ve also learned even more from other writers, like Dawn. The ability to read is an awesome gift.

Even so, I’ll continue to believe in silver linings — because one doesn’t have to agree with, or believe, everything they hear or read.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

Posted in aging, Art, Journeys | Tagged , | 2 Comments »

A Bug Named Chigger

April 22, 2024 by Pat Bean

In 2014, I bought this red car and named her Cayenne. She is not as shiny today, but driving her this morning felt empowering. Pepper, whom I’m holding, spent the last eight months with me during my RVing days before going to doggie heaven a few years after I moved to Tucson.

Aging My Way

I got behind the wheel of my car for the first time in over six weeks this morning. It was just a short drive, but after a knee replacement and three stents put into my heart, it was extremely empowering.

While most people I know, find driving, especially in rush-hour conditions, annoying and frustrating, the activity has long been my happy place. I think it began back in 1967 when I bought a 1963 red VW Bug shortly after I went to work for a small local newspaper.

At first, I used it just to get back and forth to work, but then I was promoted from dark-room flunky to reporter, a life-changing milestone that begin my 37-year journalism career.

Over the next four years, I drove that Bug over 100,000 miles to get to and from assignments all over Texas Gulf Coast’s Brazoria County. With five children at home, a lazy husband, and a demanding editor to please, driving in that car was the only alone time I had. Enclosed and sitting behind its wheel, I felt serene and at peace, about the only time I did during that period of my life.

This is a 1963 VW Bug, like the one I put 100,000 miles on between 1967-71. Amazingly you can still find them on the road.

When I moved to Northern Utah, I drove between there and Texas to visit family often, heady with each opportunity to find a different route for the journey. And when I finally retired, I spent nine years driving a small RV, with just a canine companion, all over America. I loved every moment of the 150,000 miles I drove exploring this awesome country. I found beauty everywhere I looked.

At 85, and with poor vision in the dark, I gave up night driving several years back. And I know there is going to come a time when I will have to relinquish my car keys because of my age. But thankfully, that time hasn’t arrived yet.

Oh, and by the way, I paid $600 for that Bug I called Chigger – and sold it for $900 four years later. It’s the best bargain I’ve ever experienced.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

Posted in aging, Dogs, journalism, Journeys, road trip, Travel, Writing | Tagged , | 2 Comments »

Life’s Landscapes

April 17, 2024 by Pat Bean

When I was traveling, I always tried to be in Texas for bluebonnet season. — Photo by Pat Bean

Aging My Way

One of my blog followers wrote yesterday that although we had never met, she had been following me so long that she felt I was an old friend. I don’t think there could have been anything nicer than that said to a writer. And comments like hers make me happy to be blogging again after my short sabbatical.

I’ve been blogging here on Word Press since 2010, the year I turned 71 and when I was still traveling around the country with my canine companion Maggie. The view then was ever changing.

It’s cactus-blooming season in Tucson. One of the many things I learned while traveling is that beauty is everywhere. You just have to look. — Photo by Pat Bean.

Meanwhile, this will be my 1,588th blog, and tomorrow I turn 85. A splendid view of the Catalina Mountains from my small Tucson apartment greets me each day, and my canine companion is named Scamp.

I wake up each morning with gratitude in my heart — for what I had in the past, and what I now have. I’m content.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

Posted in aging, Journeys, Travel, Writing | Tagged | 8 Comments »

A Healed Heart and Cacti

April 16, 2024 by Pat Bean

Yellow is the color of happiness and sunshine, both of which I intend to enjoy whenever I can. — Photo by Pat Bean

It’s morning. I’m sitting in front of my computer, writing. It’s exactly where I belong. And it feels wonderful. A feeling I haven’t had in quite a while.

The truth is, I’ve spent the past year slowly dying – and not knowing it. My heart was failing me, but without any symptoms, which I’ve been told isn’t uncommon for women, I simply attributed my sluggishness to being 84 years old, and a worn-out knee, which was successfully replaced on March 20.

Eight days later, I had a major heart attack, which in reality probably saved my life. Thanks to today’s awesome medical technology, I had three stents placed in my heart, and when I looked in the mirror this morning, I saw something I hadn’t been seeing for months.

A happy old broad, who will turn 85 in two days, was staring back at me. Hair mussed, wrinkles in abundance, but blue eyes sparkling and a smile that cheered my healing heart. And a saggy body that didn’t feel like it wanted to crawl back into bed and sleep the day away.

Picture of the Day

Gypsy Lee parked amid the cacti at New Mexico’s Pancho Villa State Park. — Photo by Pat Bean

To give myself an incentive to start blogging regularly again, I came up with the idea of sharing one of the pictures that drops into my email daily as a memory from the past. The one I’ve chosen today is one of my RV, Gypsy Lee, in which I traveled fulltime around the country in from 2004 to 2013.

She is parked among the cacti in New Mexico’s Pancho Villa State Park, a treasure located near our border with Mexico. It recalls a peaceful week there enjoying the history and beauty of the area and as always birdwatching, an activity I took up when I was 60 years old.

Gambel quail abounded, and there was a roadrunner that frequently perched on a fallen branch in full view of a window where I ate my morning breakfast. Thrashers, red-wing blackbirds, cactus wren and white-winged doves were often seen.

As I think back now on those treasured days, I’m ever so thankful I didn’t miss one of them. Life is for living as well as dreaming, although I think all my adventures did begin with the latter. If I had to mark a beginning to my wanderlust dreams, I think it began when I was 10 years old and read a book called I Married Adventure by Osa Johnson.

It took me awhile to figure out that one didn’t have to be married to have adventures, but we’ve come a long way since I read that book back in the 1940s.

And now, thanks to modern-day medicine, I’m hoping to discover that adventures are still possible for 85-year-olds.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

Posted in aging, Birds, Favorite Places, Journeys, Writing | Tagged | 13 Comments »

The Dance of Life

February 20, 2024 by Pat Bean

Aging My Way

“We should consider every day lost in which we have not danced at least once,” said Fredrick Nietzsche, an 1800s’ German philosopher.  

Dancing, for a couple of years in my life, once gave me great joy. I did it most Wednesday nights when country swing was my jig of choice. Mostly I danced with a 6-foot-4 partner who was the boyfriend of one of my girlfriends who hated dancing.

He and I got pretty good at it and I continued to enjoy it even after he accidentally gave me a black-eye while we were doing a maneuver called The Octopus.

And that vivid memory was the first thought that popped through my mind when I read Nietzsche’s words.

However, since Nietzsche wasn’t a dancer, I can only assume he was talking more philosophically, like having something in your life that gives you daily joy. 

I appreciate that deduction, since these days I can’t quite dance. My left knee — soon to be replaced, I note, which leaves me both happy and a bit scared – is quite wonky. And I doubt, even if after fixed, it’s going to let me dance with the ease I did in my younger days.

But I do have daily joy in my life. My canine companion Scamp, friends and loved ones who drop by or call, books, letters, birds that visit my small yard, sunshine, flowers, the satisfaction of completing a piece of art, or even just having a clean apartment polished up by my own hands,

These are all little things that have long been in my life, but which I didn’t always appreciate as much as I do now. I find having the time to do so now is one of the better gifts of aging.

So what if I can no longer dance? My cup is not just half full, it’s overflowing. Thanks, Fredrich. For reminding me.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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Posted in aging, Art, Journeys, Writing | Tagged | 7 Comments »

I Simply Can’t Make Up My Mind

February 16, 2024 by Pat Bean

Are you sure we’re going the right way? — Art by Pat Bean

Aging My Way

Women just can’t make up their minds. That’s a comment I heard often, especially in my younger years. It was never meant as a compliment.

Age, however, has taught me that having the ability to change one’s mind, to make a U-turn, even if it’s in the middle of rush-hour traffic, is actually a strength.

I mean, we’re all human, men and women alike. And though there are some out there who think otherwise, none of us are perfect. I would hate to even start to count up the number of mistakes I’ve made in my 84 years. But I’ve learned that nothing stops me from changing direction when I do.

It’s actually a lesson that began filtering into my brain when I was about three years old, and innocent enough that I actually ate a spoonful of dirt at the urging of some older kids who were teasing me. They pretended to eat the dirt while telling me it was yummy. All I can recall of that incident, which is one of my first memories, is that I didn’t take a second bite.

Even so, I was almost 40 before I accepted that it’s not a weakness to change one’s mind.  Since then, my life has been better – and oh so much easier because I no longer fear making a wrong decision.

After all. I’m a woman. And everyone knows, we women simply can’t make up our minds.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

Posted in aging, Art, Journeys, Writing | Leave a Comment »

Watching TV Again, But Still Reading

February 9, 2024 by Pat Bean

Illustration by Pat Bean

Aging my Way

When I retired in 2004 and moved into a 21-foot RV, I got rid of my TV. It wasn’t a big deal. I had many other things to do. Even nine years later, when I left my wheeled home for a regular apartment, I saw no need to make a television a part of my furnishings.  

But in January of 2023, my brother, an avid Dallas Cowboy fan, visited and wanted to watch a football game. My granddaughter and her wife, who had bought a new television for Christmas – and had been trying to give me their old one for a month – brought it over so he could watch the game.

It was supposed to go back to their apartment afterwards but for one reason or another, it didn’t. It sat on a bookcase for nearly a year, where the only comfortable place for watching it was from a prone position on my couch. I mostly watched it for my kind of soap operas, The Challenge, Survivor and Amazing Race, which when without a TV, I streamed on my computer.

But a few weeks ago, the girls came over and moved all my furniture around so they could sit comfortably on the couch and watch football game or a movie with me. And they moved my big old comfortable recliner into a prime viewing position.

I now watch TV more, which has me pondering if this is a bad or a good thing. I ponder a lot.

This week I’ve been binging on Call the Midwife, which usually ends each episode on a bright note even if life has been difficult for the characters.  I’m a realist but I believe in silver lining endings.

Watching TV again has been pleasurable, but thankfully art and books still call to me. I just finished reading Bright Remarkable Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt, which I highly recommend, as I do Call the Midwife.

Both kept this old broad up well after her bedtime. That’s OK. It makes me feel younger.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

Posted in aging, Art, Books, Journeys | Leave a Comment »

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