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An Old Broad’s Ponderings

June 11, 2025 by Pat Bean

“We are necessarily influenced by those who have come before us.” – Elizabeth Strout, Tell Me Everything.

Aging My Way

The above sentence stood out to me like a yellow sunflower growing among rose bushes. Perhaps because I’ve come to realize how much I’ve been influenced by people and things that have gone before me.

Like all of life, some of the people and things I’ve experienced have been positive influences toward my becoming a better person — and some of my life’s experiences would have been better going straight into the garbage.

Now, at 86, I have this egotistical belief that I can mostly tell the difference. But then my still-with-it brain laughs at myself for even thinking such a thought. Rarely a day goes by that I don’t realize I still have much to learn. Morning chats with a granddaughter assures me of this.

But I have been fortunate enough over the years to have been exposed to a wide view of the world. First, because I read a bit of everything, including polarized versions of the same events; and second, because I was a journalist for 37 years during which time I saw both good and bad. 

Now, as I read the news and try to relate to the world from an old-broad’s point of view, I worry for young people who are denied such exposure because of such things as banned books, religious isolation and histories written by the victors.

Unless one sticks one’s head in the sand — which by the way ostriches do not do — one can’t help but wonder about the things young minds are being filled with today.  

Will these children be influenced by what their parents and friends and politicians say and believe all their lives, or will they begin to draw their own conclusions at some point? It’s something an 86-year-old with eight great-grandchildren ponders from time to time.

Meanwhile, I just hope my grandchildren all just grow up to be kind, regardless of what they believe. But then that’s my hope for all of us.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion Scamp. She is an avid reader whose mind is always asking questions (many of which are unanswerable), an enthusiastic birder, staff writer for Story Circle Network’s Journal, author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), and is always searching for life’s silver lining. She also believes one is never too old to chase a dream.

Posted in aging, Books, Journeys, Morning Thoughts, Writing | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments »

That’s How the Cookie Crumbles

May 31, 2025 by Pat Bean

Old age means you don’t have to set your alarm clock anymore. — Art by Pat Bean

After 30, a body has a mind of its own. – Bette Midler

Aging My Way

As a 30-year-old editor, I would have changed that to read: After 30, a mind has a body of its own. But as an 86-year-old editor, the only change I would make to Bette’s quote would be to change 30 to 70.

Accurate, or not by medical standards, my body and my mind felt most alive and healthy when I was between the ages of 40 and 60, perhaps because those were the years when I was most active – both physically and mentally. I was quite a late bloomer in all departments.

My body continued to mostly behave itself until I hit my 70s. By the 80s, however, all I can say about my body is it’s in the toilet, which makes me want to repeat, at least a dozen times, my favorite word: Shit!

But life goes on. That’s how the cookie crumbles.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion Scamp. She is an avid reader whose mind is always asking questions (many of which are unanswerable), an enthusiastic birder, staff writer for Story Circle Network’s Journal, author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), and is always searching for life’s silver lining. She also believes one is never too old to chase a dream.

Posted in aging, Art, Journeys, Writing | 2 Comments »

For the Love of a Tree

May 29, 2025 by Pat Bean

Trees have long been a subject of my art. I’m a tree hugger.

Aging My Way

“Over the past twelve years I have learned that a tree needs space to grow, that coyotes sing down by the creek in January, that I can drive a nail into oak only when it is green, that bees know more about making honey than I do, that love can become sadness, and that there are more questions than answers.”—Sue Hubbell, A Country Year: Living the Questions.

These words in the opening of Sue’s book, not only made me want to read more of her words, but also made me question what I have learned the past 438 days. That’s how long since I suffered a major heart attack. Although thanks to modern medicine, a good cardiologist and three stents later, I am in much better health than I was before, it was still a life-changing event.

The biggest thing I learned was that I didn’t fancy at all being taken care of. I acted, sometimes still do, like a two-year-old stamping her feet and saying: “I can do it myself.”

The second thing I learned is that I’m loved, because loved ones have been with me every step of the past 438 days. No one could be more blessed than this, and despite my continued feet stomping I am beyond thankful.

This said, Sue’s words resonated with me in another way. It’s about the tree.

Since I moved into my current apartment almost three years ago, the cottonwood tree in my small patio yard has grown more majestic. As I stared at it this morning, I wondered if my love for it had been the fertilizer because nothing else has changed.

But now, because of its spreading roots, which are destroying my gate and fence, I may lose it. Just the thought brings wetness to my eyes. Sue nailed it when she said love can become sadness.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion Scamp. She is an avid reader whose mind is always asking questions (many of which are unanswerable), an enthusiastic birder, staff writer for Story Circle Network’s Journal, author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), and is always searching for life’s silver lining. She also believes one is never too old to chase a dream.

Posted in aging, Books, Journeys | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments »

Life is Like That

May 16, 2025 by Pat Bean

Life is also full of birds if you just look. I didn’t start looking until I was 60. — Art by Pat Bean

“If you are too careful, you are so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something.” — Gertrude Stein

That’s exactly what happened to me this morning when I opened a new bag of coffee and poured it into a canister.

I always get a few grounds scattered about when I do this, but was determined it wasn’t going to happen this time.

Yup! You guessed it. I didn’t spill a few grounds; I spilled about half a cup of them.

Life is like that the years have taught me. So, after cleaning up the mess, I did the only logical thing to do. I laughed at myself.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion Scamp. She is an avid reader whose mind is always asking questions (many of which are unanswerable), an enthusiastic birder, staff writer for Story Circle Network’s Journal, author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), and is always searching for life’s silver lining. She also believes one is never too old to chase a dream.

Posted in aging, Art, Birds | 3 Comments »

Two Mornings

May 14, 2025 by Pat Bean

Yellow warblers sometimes visit my small yard. — Art by Pat Bean

Aging My Way

“Old age is something only the lucky get to do.”

I was surprised on a recent morning to realize I was sitting in my small patio yard – doing nothing. I had gone out to sit in a cool breeze and watch birds as I drank my morning cream-laced coffee.

But the wind was not gentle, typical for Tucson, and the birds had gone into sheltered hiding somewhere. Their absence barely resonated with me, until I finally realized how comfortable and peaceful I was just sitting there, a state of mind that is fairly new to me.

But I guess that is what happens when one is an 86-year-old broad. In my younger years there was a time I was so impatient to get from one place to another that I ran instead of walked. And my mind was always racing.

This morning when I sat outside with my coffee, birds were twittering all over the place. Amy Tan’s The Backyard Bird Chronicles, which I’m currently reading – and enjoying – inspired me to go inside and get a notebook and start my own chronicles. While my small patio yard doesn’t compare to Tan’s bird haven, I do have a tall cottonwood and two tall oleander bushes in it, plus a couple of bird feeders and one for hummingbird nectar.

As I watched and listened, house sparrows, verdins, lesser goldfinches, house finches, mourning and white-winged doves, Europeans starlings and a spotted grosbeak made their presence known. The bonus was a rose-breasted grosbeak that as far as I know was a first to visit my backyard.

I enjoyed this morning, too, — but not more I think then I did the one in which I simply sat quietly, with only my mind wandering about. It has never stopped racing.

Posted in aging, Art, Birds, Books, Journeys, Writing | Tagged , | 5 Comments »

It’s Too Early Scamp!

April 2, 2025 by Pat Bean

Scamp: What do you mean we can’t go for a walk at sunrise?

Aging My Way

“Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternative.” —Maurice Chevalier

I’ve always been a morning person, but things are changing. Instead of popping up out of bed bright and cheery and ready to tackle the world as I have done almost all my life, I stumble out of bed with a stiff achy body of an 85-year-old. Perhaps that is because I am 85 (86 in just a couple of weeks) and have the arthritis to prove it.

It takes a while for my body to warm up for the day ahead, something I keep trying to tell my canine companion Scamp, who is ready for a walk as soon as the sun creeps into our bedroom.

I’ve told him that I’m an old broad and suggested that all he needed the first thing in the morning was a quick pee, and that I would take him for a longer walk a little later, like 10 a.m.

He readily agreed to the quick pee, but still grumbles a bit about waiting until 10, preferring a nice long 9 a.m. walk. So, I compromised. We now usually get out for that good walk around 9:30 a.m., which gives my body time to slowly enjoy a bowl of oatmeal, which is good for my cholesterol, and two cups of coffee, which is good for my heart.

 You think about these things when you’re 85.

And if you’re lucky, you’ll have a companion like my Scamp to talk it over with.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion Scamp. She is an avid reader whose mind is always asking questions (many of which are unanswerable), an enthusiastic birder, staff writer for Story Circle Network’s Journal, author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), and is always searching for life’s silver lining. She also believes one is never too old to chase a dream.

Posted in aging, Dogs, Journeys | Leave a Comment »

The Rabbit Hole of Web Surfing

March 27, 2025 by Pat Bean

A beach in South Goa — Image from a Goan government travel brochure

Aging My Way

It all started with a word I had never heard before: Vindaloo. From how the word was used in the sentence I was reading in The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry by Gabrielle Zevin, I determined vindaloo was some kind of food, as the book’s protagonist was heating it up in a microwave for dinner.

But what kind of food, I wondered, and thus begin my journey down the internet rabbit hole, a place I visit almost daily. My surfing told me that vindaloo is a spicy Indian curry. To be more exact, a Goan curry dish, according to Wikipedia.

So, what is Goan, my curious brain asked – and Wikipedia answered: Goan is the demonym used to describe the people native to Goa, India.

So, where is Goa? India’s Southwestern Coast, and additionally it is the country’s smallest state.

And since I’m into travel, even if it’s just from an armchair, I spent a bit of time researching Goa. The Indian state is nicknamed the Pearl of the Orient and its motto, according to the Goan government, is: “May everyone see goodness, may none suffer any pain.” I like that.

Among the other trivia tidbits I learned along the way is that vindaloo is based on a Portuguese dish called vinha d’alhos, which caused my rambling brain to remember that my great-great grandfather was a Portuguese sailor who jumped ship on America’s East Coast.

And with that, I jumped out of the rabbit hole and got back to my day’s activities, which a little bit later found me reading Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art, in which he encourages writers like me to stop procrastinating and write. And as if Steven had been peeking at me through a window, he wrote: “Resistance mounts to a pitch that becomes unendurable. At this point vices sink in. Dope, adultery, web surfing…

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion Scamp. She is an avid reader whose mind is always asking questions (many of which are unanswerable), an enthusiastic birder, staff writer for Story Circle Network’s Journal, author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), and is always searching for life’s silver lining.

Posted in aging, Books, Journeys, Writing | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Joy to You and Me

March 22, 2025 by Pat Bean

Male and Female Northern Cardinals

Aging My Way

“If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.” — Richard Bach

The older I get, the more I enjoy the little things life offers, like simply watching a pair of cardinals at my bird feeders. The scarlet male, with the morning sun making his feathers shimmer with light, was clinging to the side of one feeder while his red-fringed golden mate was sitting in a second one. I had a great view from where I sat at my computer jotting down my morning thoughts.

I also watched as a male mourning dove chased a female around the top of my wooden fence. It’s getting to be that time of year.

But I only noted the cardinals in the joy journal I keep, as I see mourning doves every day of the year. The doves don’t migrate and their visits to my small patio yard are a regular part of their daily routines, and I’ve noted their visitations numerous times.

Jotting things down in a joy journal reminds me of how blessed I am – even after suffering a heart attack. But then perhaps the heart attack was a blessing in disguise to make me realize how important the little things in life are:

Like a simple late-night walk with my canine companion Scamp while a cheshire-grinning sliver of a moon shines down on the two of us. Joy is a phone call from my kids and grandkids, and seeing photos of my distance great-grandkids getting a school award or enjoying themselves at Disneyland. It’s getting an invitation from my next-door granddaughter and her wife for a night out, and playing our favorite competitive card game of Frustration.

It’s a soak in a bath hot enough to turn my skin pink, or a new haircut.

Joy is a visit from my out-of-town brother, a neighbor dropping in for a beer and conversation, a good meal that I cooked myself, a visit to the library, my online writing chat group, the view I have each day of the Catalina Mountains, and of course the birds that visit my yard.

I’ve done the big stuff: Skiing down an Olympic run, interviewing presidents, going on an African safari, rafting through the Grand Canyon and spending nine years living and traveling all across this beautiful country in an RV.

I led an active life, and the memories I collected (well, at least most of them) give me joy. But now it’s my time to enjoy the little everyday things, like spending a whole day just reading a great book or simply watching my avian visitors.

There was no time for such things during earlier chapters of my life.

And while I do miss the adrenalin surges of the past, I’ve decided to follow Garth Brooks’ words: “Happiness isn’t getting what you want, it’s wanting what you got.”

And I got plenty.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion Scamp. She is an avid reader whose mind is always asking questions (many of which are unanswerable), an enthusiastic birder, staff writer for Story Circle Network’s Journal, author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), and is always searching for life’s silver lining. She also believes one is never too old to chase a dream.

Bean Pat: If you want to check out birds, but none visit your yard, check out explore.org and watch some of their bird cams. My favorite is the one in Panama at Canopy Lodge. Cornell also has live bird cams for those who want to watch birds.

Posted in aging, Birds, Journeys, Morning Thoughts | Tagged , | 5 Comments »

Late Night TV Viewing

March 16, 2025 by Pat Bean

Bean’s Pat is back. It’s simply my way of saying I like something.

I woke up about 1 a.m. the other night and couldn’t get back to sleep. I suspected it was because my stomach, empty after an early, light dinner, was growling too loudly.

So, I got up and went in and fixed myself a bowl of oatmeal with some dried fruit, then sat down in front of the television, my usual substitute for a dining partner, and started flipping through programs. I wanted to watch something without violence or disturbing behavior, because shows featuring, dark characters with violent tendencies aren’t conducive to my sleep, some of which I was still hoping to get.

Because of the offerings, it took a while, but I finally, I came across a short series on Prime Video titled Travels with Agatha Christie with Sir David Suchet. It seemed a perfect choice for two reasons: I’m a big fan of Christie and I love traveling. Besides, having read almost all of Christie’s books, Suchet, who played the author’s Poirot for 25 years, is the only actor whose performances I have seen who matches my personal vision of the fictional detective.

The program seemed the perfect wee-hour viewing – and it was. I give it a Bean Pat. Perhaps you will like it, too.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion Scamp. She is an avid reader whose mind is always asking questions (many of which are unanswerable), an enthusiastic birder, staff writer for Story Circle Network’s Journal, author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), and is always searching for life’s silver lining. She also believes one is never too old to chase a dream.

Posted in aging, Books, Journeys | Tagged , , , | Leave a Comment »

Laughter is Good for an Old Body

March 15, 2025 by Pat Bean

Me in my favorite place, a busy newspaper newsroom back in the late 1980s. — Photo by my work colleague and dear friend Charlie Trentelman.

Aging my Way

          I came across the above picture of me sitting in a newsroom in Ogden, Utah, and my first thought was that I looked quite young. But reflecting back on that time in my life, I realized I wasn’t, well at least by some standards. The photo was taken some time in the late 1980s when I was pushing 50.

While the past 35 years have been kind to me in many ways, my body has gone the normal way for my years – it’s succumbed to the pull of gravity and become flabby and wrinkly.

As I look at that photo of me, I recalled that it was taken about the same time I hiked up a mountain with a woman who was in her 80s, and I remembered that she got to the top of the mountain before me.

I recall hoping that I would be as spry as her when I reached my 80s. It was wishful thinking that didn’t happen. Somewhere in my late 70s, hiking up a mountain ceased to exist as a possibility for me. And a couple or so years later I got a rollator, which lets me take nice walks on flat ground – and I bless the person who invented such a device because my balance is the shits.

Meanwhile, despite my sagging body, I am blessed in many ways, including having love and laughter in my life. While the love, which I didn’t feel I had when I was younger, is comforting, I don’t discount the laughter. As George Bernard Shaw said: “You don’t stop laughing when you grow old. You grow old when you stop laughing.”

I think that’s especially true when you can laugh at yourself.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion Scamp. She is an avid reader whose mind is always asking questions (many of which are unanswerable), an enthusiastic birder, staff writer for Story Circle Network’s Journal, author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), and is always searching for life’s silver lining. She also believes one is never too old to chase a dream.  

Posted in aging, journalism, Journeys | Tagged , | 5 Comments »

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