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Archive for the ‘Writing’ Category

Getting Unstuck

Posted in aging, Art, Books, Journeys, Writing, tagged , , , , on June 12, 2024| 3 Comments »

Having writer’s block is like being stuck up a tree with no way to get down. — Art by Pat Bean

The Write Words

I moderate a small email chat group called Writer2Writer for Story Circle Network. Recently I asked participants to name their favorite author and then write about why.

I started the chat off by quoting Mary Oliver, one of my favorite authors, whose instructions for living a life is to “Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.” And since Mary was an American poet who won the National Book Award and the Pulitzer Prize, when Mary said tell, I’m sure she meant write about it. The words responded with me because that’s what I’ve been trying to do for most of my life.

But lately, I’ve been rather stuck. And that leads me to comment on a response to my writing prompt. It was from Stephanie Raffelock, who wrote: “A battered, dog eared, highlighted and underlined copy of May Sarton’s Journal of a Solitude sits on the table next to my chair. I can quote the opening line without opening the book: “Begin here. It is raining.” 

“Such simple lines,” wrote Stephanie. “Crisp and real. Who knew that they would lead to years of journals, which in turn would lead to a first short story and later, essays. Begin here. That’s all I have to do to start writing on any day,” said my writing colleague.

And those words from Mary, Stephanie and May were exactly what I needed to get unstuck. I immediately sat down and filled a couple of pages in my current journal, and then started writing this blog.

Thank you, Mary, Stephanie and May.  

So, who, my treasured readers, is your favorite author and why?

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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Learning to Be More Gracious

Posted in aging, Art, Journeys, Writing, tagged , , , , on June 9, 2024| 3 Comments »

Art by Pat Bean

Aging My Way

On March 31, three days after I suffered a heart attack, the entry in my journal reads Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! The words were written by my granddaughter Shanna because I was hooked up to medical paraphernalia. As an afterthought, she noted that I was in Room 516 at Tucson Medical Center. And I should note that just 11 days earlier, I had a total knee replacement.

The next entry in my journal wasn’t made until May 14, when I recorded a quote from North Woods, the book by Daniel Mason that I was reading at the time. The quote, “Love made the old do the same dumb things as the young.” The words hit home with me because of having seen – and done – just that behavior during my 85-year journey through life.

The next thoughts, which went through my little gray cells after once again posting in my journal, was that not writing about the bad and scary after-effects of my heart attack was a familiar pattern. The many journals that I have kept for over 50 years contain mostly pleasant thoughts and good times.

To my way of thinking, this behavior isn’t altogether wrong, well except for a couple of times in my life when I needed to actually accept a bad situation and move on from it. One of those times was a lengthy period in the late 1970s when the door of the skeleton closet, in which I had shoved over 20 years of unpleasant happenings, burst open.

It took me a year to live through that episode before coming out a happier, more fulfilled person, one ready to grab all the gusto life had to offer, but also fiercely independent believing I didn’t need anyone to take care of me but me. This false notion was flung into the garbage bin when I recently learned that my granddaughter Shanna and her wife Dawn, who live next door to me and who were there for me during my knee replacement and three heart surgeries, were keeping their phones on at night in case of an emergency call from me.

Shit, shit, shit. I cried for three days before finally accepting that I should be more grateful for their love and care then being upset that I wasn’t living up to my own independent expectations.        

So why am I writing about this. Well, it’s just what writers do — and because the focus of my recent blogs has been about aging – and that’s what I’m currently doing. While I’ve always felt blessed that Shanna and Dawn were nearby, graciously accepting their help, and that of others, hasn’t been easy for me.

But I’m learning.

Meanwhile, my life is still good, and I’m going to focus on that – and be grateful for all the good things my journals have recorded.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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Sunshine and Rain

Posted in aging, Art, Birds, Journeys, Writing on May 20, 2024| 3 Comments »

The saguaro are currently blooming in Tucson, thanks to the rain and sun we’ve enjoyed this spring. — Art by Pat Bean

Aging My Way

When you’re 85, and if you’re lucky, your head is full of memories, and you never know when one of them is going to pop up. Like this morning when I was reading a post by Anne Lamott, one of my favorite writing-advice authors.

She was talking about taking a walk with an old friend and mentioned that they were wearing raincoats because although it was sunny, it was drizzling off and on. “In my family, we always announced during a sun shower that it must be a monkey’s birthday somewhere,” she wrote.

Her family was more positive than mine, because on reading those words I clearly heard my Southern grandmother say that if it were raining and the sun was shining, then the devil must be beating his wife.

Another saying for a day when the sun is shining through the rain, wrote Lamott, is that it’s a day when the foxes are having a wedding.

 A bit of research turned out there were even more old sayings for such a day, including a witch making butter in Poland and day for a parish fair in Germany. And in the Appalachians in this country, the locals might also say that the devil is kissing his wife.

Now I have even more memories stuffed into this old brain of mine. I’m just glad to be remembering some of them.     

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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A Picture Worth a Thousand Words

Posted in aging, Dogs, Journeys, Writing on May 14, 2024| Leave a Comment »

My first meeting with Scamp. Photo by Kim Perrin, who drove 700-miles roundtrip to bring him to me.

Each day, a page of photo memories drops into my email. The one that dropped today shows my first meeting with my canine companion Scamp. I first named him Harley, but quickly changed it to Scamp – because that is what he truly is.

According to the Ogden, Utah, shelter from where he was adopted, he was eight months old and a schnauzer-mix. He weighed 17 pounds, most of which was a tangled mass of matted hair. While he showed no sign of physical abuse, he had clearly been neglected – and was desperate to attach himself to someone. And I was the willing sole who had made a 1,000-mile roundtrip to become just that.

It’s a good thing I didn’t know how much trouble he was going to be in the coming weeks.      

He peed in the house, tore up 13 rolls of toilet paper he managed to get off the holder, destroyed half a dozen of my writing pens, some of which left permanent ink on my carpet, and chewed up my dining room table and chairs.

If I hadn’t fallen in love with him the second that he first jumped on my lap, he would have quickly gone back to the shelter.

Thankfully, by walking him every hour or so, I had him house trained in three weeks, and slowly he began to learn what toys were his and what were mine. Today, he’s never far from my side, or my lap if he can manage it. I do have one large chair that he and I both fit into.

Even so, it’s not easy as he turned out not to be a 25-pound schnauzer-mix but a 45-pound Siberian husky-shih tzu-mix.

My granddaughter Shanna says he landed with his butt in the butter. I think he and I both did.

Anyway, talk about a picture being worth a thousand words, the one above surely is. And the one below is of Scamp today.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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A Bug Named Chigger

Posted in aging, Dogs, journalism, Journeys, road trip, Travel, Writing, tagged , on April 22, 2024| 2 Comments »

In 2014, I bought this red car and named her Cayenne. She is not as shiny today, but driving her this morning felt empowering. Pepper, whom I’m holding, spent the last eight months with me during my RVing days before going to doggie heaven a few years after I moved to Tucson.

Aging My Way

I got behind the wheel of my car for the first time in over six weeks this morning. It was just a short drive, but after a knee replacement and three stents put into my heart, it was extremely empowering.

While most people I know, find driving, especially in rush-hour conditions, annoying and frustrating, the activity has long been my happy place. I think it began back in 1967 when I bought a 1963 red VW Bug shortly after I went to work for a small local newspaper.

At first, I used it just to get back and forth to work, but then I was promoted from dark-room flunky to reporter, a life-changing milestone that begin my 37-year journalism career.

Over the next four years, I drove that Bug over 100,000 miles to get to and from assignments all over Texas Gulf Coast’s Brazoria County. With five children at home, a lazy husband, and a demanding editor to please, driving in that car was the only alone time I had. Enclosed and sitting behind its wheel, I felt serene and at peace, about the only time I did during that period of my life.

This is a 1963 VW Bug, like the one I put 100,000 miles on between 1967-71. Amazingly you can still find them on the road.

When I moved to Northern Utah, I drove between there and Texas to visit family often, heady with each opportunity to find a different route for the journey. And when I finally retired, I spent nine years driving a small RV, with just a canine companion, all over America. I loved every moment of the 150,000 miles I drove exploring this awesome country. I found beauty everywhere I looked.

At 85, and with poor vision in the dark, I gave up night driving several years back. And I know there is going to come a time when I will have to relinquish my car keys because of my age. But thankfully, that time hasn’t arrived yet.

Oh, and by the way, I paid $600 for that Bug I called Chigger – and sold it for $900 four years later. It’s the best bargain I’ve ever experienced.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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Life’s Landscapes

Posted in aging, Journeys, Travel, Writing, tagged on April 17, 2024| 8 Comments »

When I was traveling, I always tried to be in Texas for bluebonnet season. — Photo by Pat Bean

Aging My Way

One of my blog followers wrote yesterday that although we had never met, she had been following me so long that she felt I was an old friend. I don’t think there could have been anything nicer than that said to a writer. And comments like hers make me happy to be blogging again after my short sabbatical.

I’ve been blogging here on Word Press since 2010, the year I turned 71 and when I was still traveling around the country with my canine companion Maggie. The view then was ever changing.

It’s cactus-blooming season in Tucson. One of the many things I learned while traveling is that beauty is everywhere. You just have to look. — Photo by Pat Bean.

Meanwhile, this will be my 1,588th blog, and tomorrow I turn 85. A splendid view of the Catalina Mountains from my small Tucson apartment greets me each day, and my canine companion is named Scamp.

I wake up each morning with gratitude in my heart — for what I had in the past, and what I now have. I’m content.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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A Healed Heart and Cacti

Posted in aging, Birds, Favorite Places, Journeys, Writing, tagged on April 16, 2024| 13 Comments »

Yellow is the color of happiness and sunshine, both of which I intend to enjoy whenever I can. — Photo by Pat Bean

It’s morning. I’m sitting in front of my computer, writing. It’s exactly where I belong. And it feels wonderful. A feeling I haven’t had in quite a while.

The truth is, I’ve spent the past year slowly dying – and not knowing it. My heart was failing me, but without any symptoms, which I’ve been told isn’t uncommon for women, I simply attributed my sluggishness to being 84 years old, and a worn-out knee, which was successfully replaced on March 20.

Eight days later, I had a major heart attack, which in reality probably saved my life. Thanks to today’s awesome medical technology, I had three stents placed in my heart, and when I looked in the mirror this morning, I saw something I hadn’t been seeing for months.

A happy old broad, who will turn 85 in two days, was staring back at me. Hair mussed, wrinkles in abundance, but blue eyes sparkling and a smile that cheered my healing heart. And a saggy body that didn’t feel like it wanted to crawl back into bed and sleep the day away.

Picture of the Day

Gypsy Lee parked amid the cacti at New Mexico’s Pancho Villa State Park. — Photo by Pat Bean

To give myself an incentive to start blogging regularly again, I came up with the idea of sharing one of the pictures that drops into my email daily as a memory from the past. The one I’ve chosen today is one of my RV, Gypsy Lee, in which I traveled fulltime around the country in from 2004 to 2013.

She is parked among the cacti in New Mexico’s Pancho Villa State Park, a treasure located near our border with Mexico. It recalls a peaceful week there enjoying the history and beauty of the area and as always birdwatching, an activity I took up when I was 60 years old.

Gambel quail abounded, and there was a roadrunner that frequently perched on a fallen branch in full view of a window where I ate my morning breakfast. Thrashers, red-wing blackbirds, cactus wren and white-winged doves were often seen.

As I think back now on those treasured days, I’m ever so thankful I didn’t miss one of them. Life is for living as well as dreaming, although I think all my adventures did begin with the latter. If I had to mark a beginning to my wanderlust dreams, I think it began when I was 10 years old and read a book called I Married Adventure by Osa Johnson.

It took me awhile to figure out that one didn’t have to be married to have adventures, but we’ve come a long way since I read that book back in the 1940s.

And now, thanks to modern-day medicine, I’m hoping to discover that adventures are still possible for 85-year-olds.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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The Dance of Life

Posted in aging, Art, Journeys, Writing, tagged on February 20, 2024| 7 Comments »

Aging My Way

“We should consider every day lost in which we have not danced at least once,” said Fredrick Nietzsche, an 1800s’ German philosopher.  

Dancing, for a couple of years in my life, once gave me great joy. I did it most Wednesday nights when country swing was my jig of choice. Mostly I danced with a 6-foot-4 partner who was the boyfriend of one of my girlfriends who hated dancing.

He and I got pretty good at it and I continued to enjoy it even after he accidentally gave me a black-eye while we were doing a maneuver called The Octopus.

And that vivid memory was the first thought that popped through my mind when I read Nietzsche’s words.

However, since Nietzsche wasn’t a dancer, I can only assume he was talking more philosophically, like having something in your life that gives you daily joy. 

I appreciate that deduction, since these days I can’t quite dance. My left knee — soon to be replaced, I note, which leaves me both happy and a bit scared – is quite wonky. And I doubt, even if after fixed, it’s going to let me dance with the ease I did in my younger days.

But I do have daily joy in my life. My canine companion Scamp, friends and loved ones who drop by or call, books, letters, birds that visit my small yard, sunshine, flowers, the satisfaction of completing a piece of art, or even just having a clean apartment polished up by my own hands,

These are all little things that have long been in my life, but which I didn’t always appreciate as much as I do now. I find having the time to do so now is one of the better gifts of aging.

So what if I can no longer dance? My cup is not just half full, it’s overflowing. Thanks, Fredrich. For reminding me.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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I Simply Can’t Make Up My Mind

Posted in aging, Art, Journeys, Writing on February 16, 2024| Leave a Comment »

Are you sure we’re going the right way? — Art by Pat Bean

Aging My Way

Women just can’t make up their minds. That’s a comment I heard often, especially in my younger years. It was never meant as a compliment.

Age, however, has taught me that having the ability to change one’s mind, to make a U-turn, even if it’s in the middle of rush-hour traffic, is actually a strength.

I mean, we’re all human, men and women alike. And though there are some out there who think otherwise, none of us are perfect. I would hate to even start to count up the number of mistakes I’ve made in my 84 years. But I’ve learned that nothing stops me from changing direction when I do.

It’s actually a lesson that began filtering into my brain when I was about three years old, and innocent enough that I actually ate a spoonful of dirt at the urging of some older kids who were teasing me. They pretended to eat the dirt while telling me it was yummy. All I can recall of that incident, which is one of my first memories, is that I didn’t take a second bite.

Even so, I was almost 40 before I accepted that it’s not a weakness to change one’s mind.  Since then, my life has been better – and oh so much easier because I no longer fear making a wrong decision.

After all. I’m a woman. And everyone knows, we women simply can’t make up our minds.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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The Murder of Crows

Posted in aging, Birds, journalism, Journeys, Writing, tagged on January 31, 2024| 3 Comments »

Old Crow art by Pat Bean

Aging My Way

I’m reading A Murder of Crows by Sarah Yarwood-Lovett. It’s a cozy mystery with an ecologist as the protagonist. With all the many, many books out there to choose from, I was attracted to this one simply because of the title. You see, I once was a member of a small group that called itself The Murder of Crows.

The group membership numbered a half dozen women or so, all well past the age innocence, with marriage, children, divorces and life experiences in our varied backgrounds.

  We met once a week for lunch and got together occasionally for other activities and events. Our conversations were filled with interesting chatter, raucous laughter, irreverent remarks and commentary about politics and world events. We were a liberal group with four journalists, in various capacities, among us.

 I was in my early 40s when I was introduced to the group by a younger female colleague at the newspaper where I had just been hired. She didn’t stick around long, however, as she soon departed to a job in another state. But by that time, I was firmly ensconced in the group.

 We got our name from one of the women’s teenage sons who referred to us as a bunch of old crows. Instead of being insulted we started calling ourselves The Murder of Crows, which is actually the proper name for a group of crows.

We stayed together for the next 20 years or so before moves and deaths begin taking their toll. Only three members were left behind when I retired in 2004, sold my home and took off to tour America in a small RV. I kept in touch, but while I was traveling around another member died, and then after I settled in Tucson in 2013, one more death occurred.

That’s what happens to friends when they reach their eighth decades of life. I got to visit with the other lone Murder of Crows’ member when I visited my old hometown last September. And I got a nice long snail mail letter from her a couple of weeks ago.

While I hope there will be many more visits and letters, I know it’s important that I treat each treasured get-together and letter as if it were the last – because it just might be.

Now I think I will stop here and go write that return letter to one of the last two still-standing Murder of Crows’ members. It’s important to me.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is an avid reader, an enthusiastic birder, the author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), is always searching for life’s silver lining, and these days aging her way – and that’s usually not gracefully.

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