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No Wonder the World is a Chaotic Mess

Posted in Books, Journeys, Morning Thoughts on September 4, 2021| 4 Comments »

***A page from an earlier journal containing quotes from another author.***

I’m listening to Madeleine Albright’s Hell and Other Destinations, and finding lots of wisdom, humor and thoughts that I want to add to my journal. It was my book of choice with morning coffee today.

One incident Madeleine, who narrates the book, said, had me laughing. So, I turned off my Kindle and wrote down what I recalled about it. I wrote: “When a woman asked Madeleine if she were proud of herself for not getting a facelift, Madeline said she wished she had asked the woman if she was proud of the results of hers.”

The quotes indicated the exact words I wrote in my journal. After turning my Kindle back on, and relistening to the incident, I realized I hadn’t quoted Madeleine correctly. Here’s what she actually said about the incident.

“When at a party, a woman, half socialite half journalist, told me how brave she thought I had been for not getting a facelift, I was tempted to comment on the courage she had shown in dealing with the results of hers.”

I relistened to the recording several times to make sure I finally got it correct.

This incident brought up one of my former journalist mantras. “Just because you heard what I said doesn’t mean you heard what I said.” Much less understood what was said.

It also reaffirmed my understanding of why the stories of my five children, who all participated in the same activity or incident at the same time, varies in five different ways — and all five are different from mine.

It’s a miracle the world is not in more chaos than it is.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is a wondering-wanderer, avid reader, enthusiastic birder, Lonely Planet Community Pathfinder, Story Circle Network board member, author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), and is always searching for life’s silver lining.

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Refinding My Mojo

Posted in Birds, Books, Journeys, tagged blessings, Covid, mojo on August 20, 2021| 5 Comments »

***Watching — and drawing — birds is good for my mojo. Art by Pat Bean***

My mojo is in the toilet because of Covid isolation – for the second time given the Delta variant going around strongly here in Tucson. Because I’m 82, even my good friends and family, who are daily out in the world –including one who is a teacher and had had six students come down with Covid within a week of school starting – are staying away from me.

I’m a social person and it is getting to me. And then there is what’s going on in the world with war and politics. Keeping up with current events is a downer, but closing a blind eye is not an option for this former journalist.

Ok. Enough is enough.

It’s time to start counting my blessings. That always helps.

Beginning with the basics: I have a comfortable roof over my head, more than enough food to eat, air conditioning to keep the Sonoran Desert heat at bay, money enough to at least buy a book when I want it, decent health insurance, and I’m loved.

I have a fantastic canine companion, beautiful views of both sunrises and sunsets, heated water for a bath every night, internet access to the world, birds to watch from my third-story balcony, and an inquisitive mind that usually keeps me from ever becoming bored.

I’m the last person in the world who should be feeling sorry for herself.

Even isolation hasn’t been all bad. It’s given me time to learn how much I do enjoy my own company. I just don’t want it to go on forever. Plus, I still believe in silver linings.

One has to be out there — somewhere.

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Guts and the To-Do List

Posted in Journeys, tagged Guts on August 10, 2021| 9 Comments »

The Cacti are blooming in Tucson on this overcast morning. Photo by Pat Bean

What would you do if you had the guts to do it?

That was the question I read a couple of days ago. It gave me a pause that tickled my brain. If I had been asked that question when I was younger, I could have easily come up with a list of exciting ideas.

Come to think of it, I even followed through on a few of them, like taking up skiing when I was 40, rafting quite a few wild rivers, doing a 20-mile day hike with a physically-fit boyfriend when I was 50. I survived – both the hike and the boyfriend. I even skydived on my 70^th birthday and got a tattoo on my 75^th.

But when I think about guts these days, as an 82-year-old whose body, if not mind, is winding down, it has nothing to do with physical accomplishments.

My guts these days tell me only to live each day to the fullest in whatever way I can.

Poet and novelist May Sarton talked about this idea of planning a day when one doesn’t have a job or commitments. It’s not easy, she wrote, in Journal of a Solitude.

I agree.

So it is that I start each day with coffee, my journal, and my to-do list, beginning it with the top priority for the day — which can be anything from write a book review to clean the toilet — followed by things I simply want to do. The guts come in when it gets down to the doing.

Some days I succeed – and some days I don’t.

Today I succeeded. The first thing on my list was post a blog.

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Characters and their Pets

Posted in Books, Dogs, Journeys, tagged mystery books, pet characters on July 31, 2021| 6 Comments »

***Scamp, all zonked out after a round of ball chasing***

Like Dorothy Martin’s cats – I’m currently reading her take on life in the cozy mystery Trouble in Town Hall – my canine companion Scamp makes sure I lead a balanced life. I thought about that this morning as we took our 6 a.m. walk around my apartment complex.

Scamp is an almost three-year-old Siberian Husky/Shih Tzu mix who is finally learning my only speed these days is slow. I make up for it by extra walks and lots of soft-ball throwing down my hall, lasting until he gives out and doesn’t retrieve the ball.

Scamp’s the most social dog I’ve ever owned, and a handsome fellow who charms almost everyone he meets here in my large apartment complex. Most of them stop to say hello and give him an ear scratch, which makes his day. Some even carry treats especially for him.

Because of Scamp, I’ve come to know a lot of people I wouldn’t have otherwise.

I also have to get up and get dressed to walk him every day, whether I feel like it or not. By the time we get back from our walk, I’m ready to face the day.

If I didn’t have Scamp, I would probably sleep in and stay in my pajamas all day. Sounds lovely, but I think taking a walk, enjoying the birds and flowers, and smiling at my neighbors is much healthier for this old broad.

Later, when Scamp curls up in my large recliner beside me while I read, the human need for touch is fulfilled. They say petting a dog or cat reduces blood pressure, and since I’ve had to take high-blood pressure pills for 40 years now, this has to be a good thing.

My vocal cords also get daily exercise because I talk to Scamp. And he never disagrees. He simply tilts his head and gives me a questioning look, as if to say: Oh. I understand.

And sometimes I read out loud to him – like Qwillian does with Koko in Lillian Jackson Braun’s Cat Who books.

Come to think of it, a lot of fictional characters have pets that make their lives better: like Tank, in Tinker Lindsay and Gay Hendricks’ Tenzing Norbu’s murder mystery series; or Nick and Nora Charles’ dog Asta in Dashiell Hammet’s Thin Man novel; or Little Orphan Annie’s dog Sandy.

I guess you could day Scamp and I are in good company.

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I Don’t Understand

Posted in Journeys, tagged hatred on July 7, 2021| 6 Comments »

Perhaps I should take a long drive to the top of Mount Lemmon to clear my head after all my pondering to understand. — Photo by Dawn Lee

I simply don’t understand all the hate toward people who are different or think differently going around in this country today.

Why, why, why? I keep asking.

Is it fear? Is it a lack of self-esteem? Is it greed? Is it a feeling of supremacy? Is it what people were taught or learned growing up? Is it narcissism? Is it plain old meanness? Is it a desire for political power?

Is it all of the above? Or none of the above?

It’s certainly not what I thought Christianity stood for – and I say that because I’m seeing some church leaders standing at the forefront of the hatred movement. What happened to loving one another?

America, and the world, is a melting pot of races, cultures, beliefs, genders and political leanings. We never will all agree on things, but that doesn’t mean we can’t respect one another – excepting, of course liars and cheaters and those who purposely do harm to others.

But what’s going on today goes far beyond those exceptions.

Will someone please help me understand.

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Saguaro Blossoms and House Sparrows

Posted in Birds, Journeys, Nature, Uncategorized, tagged gila woodpecker, Sonoran Desert, tucson on June 26, 2021| 2 Comments »

**Gila Woodpeckers favor saguaro cacti for their homes, which is one reason I’m always looking at them. — Photo by Pat Bean**

One of the many delightful things about living in Tucson are the Saguaros, a slow-growing cactus that at about the age of 50 develops tree-branch arms. The cactus then lives on for another hundred years or so, continuing to grow more arms and stretch up toward the sky.

They are visible all-around Tucson’s Sonoran Desert landscape. In the area’s monsoon seasons– sadly absent the past couple of years – the trunks of the cactus take in and store water to last it during the dry spells. You can visibly see the saguaros trunk bulge after a heavy rain.

For the nine years I’ve now lived in Tucson, I’ve also watched these cacti sprout enchanting white flowers with golden centers on the tips of their arms for a few weeks each spring.

This spring the blossoms were more abundant than I’ve ever seen them, plus the blossoms were also growing elsewhere on the cacti. It’s something I haven’t seen before, and neither have others. The phenomena has been strange enough that desert ecologists are trying to come up with an answer for it.

One thought is that the area’s drought and above-average heat are behind the changes in the saguaros.

Meanwhile, I’ve noticed another phenomena here at my apartment complex in Tucson’s Catalina Foothills. We have an abundance of house sparrow babies. I can’t step outside my apartment without seeing a host (the name for a group of sparrows) littering the grass where I walk. I would enjoy them more if my canine companion Scamp didn’t think it would be fun to try and catch one, an action I highly oppose.

I do, however, enjoy waking up in the mornings to their cheery chirp…chirp…chirps.

I suspect that their parents took advantage of the many thick bushes around the complex for nesting and the abundance of water sprinklers that are used to keep two of the apartment’s three courtyards green. I also suspect the abundance of sparrows is probably why our resident great horned owls continue to raise their young in the tall trees that look down on those courtyards.

So what is Mother Nature up to where you live?

Pat Bean is a retired, award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is a wondering-wanderer, avid reader, enthusiastic birder, Lonely Planet Community Pathfinder, Story Circle Network board member, author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), and is always searching for life’s silver lining.

**An old saguaro that I thought looked like an old man, whose death I watched over a period of several months.**

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The Thing About Travel Books

Posted in Books, Journeys, Travel, Uncategorized, tagged paul theroux on June 23, 2021| 8 Comments »

During my traveling days, I did manage a few train trips, like the one to the top of Colorado's Royal Gorge. I took this photo as the train curved around a bend while on the train itself. -- Photo by Pat Bean

“There is nothing permanent except change.” – Heraclitus, an ancient Greek philosopher who lived between 535-475 B.C.

I’m currently reading Paul Theroux’s The Great Railway Bazaar by Train Through Asia, which was published in 1975. It recalls a four-month trip the author took in 1973.

Almost half a century has passed since then, which makes the book as much about history as travel. At times, it’s a bit confusing because names of countries have changed, and the places Paul visited are not the same today as they were then. Some sites have died out, while others have grown into giant cities.

To keep track of everything, and because armchair travel has become the most comfortable way for this 82-year-old-broad to continually be exposed to new places, my reading is constantly being interrupted with questions. I’m continually chasing down the answers to my curiosity by checking up-to-date maps (I have a good atlas) and internet resources, the latter being one of the reasons why I don’t long for the “good old days.”

Having the time to do this is one of the upsides of aging to offset the downsides.

But the changes that happened in the world since Paul’s book was written, makes me wonder about the changes time has brought to the places I visited in my own rambling journeys in a small RV between 2004 and 2013. My book, Travels with Maggie, is about a slice of that traveling life that took place during six months of 2006, but the book wasn’t even published until 2017.

I wonder if someone will read my book with questions, and if they will take the time to find the answers as I do? No idea how to answer this question.

Meanwhile, I noted that Paul’s journey began with him taking the 1530 -London to Paris Train, and him writing: “Ever since childhood, when I lived within earshot of the Boston and Maine, I have seldom heard a train go by and not wished I were on it.”

Those words made me think of when I was a young child and the Texas Zephyr that blow its whistle each day as it roared behind my grandmother’s home in Dallas.

I always wondered where it had been and where it was going, and yearned to go along for the ride. Perhaps that’s why I’m enjoying my trip across Asia with Paul.

Photo: Train to the top of Colorado’s Royal Gorge, which I rode in 2007. I took the photo from the train as it curved around a bend.

Pat Bean is a retired journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion, Scamp. She is a wondering-wanderer, avid reader, enthusiastic birder, Lonely Planet Community Pathfinder, Story Circle Network board member, author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), and is always searching for life’s silver lining

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Seeing is Identifying

Posted in Birds, Journeys, Uncategorized, tagged eye surgery, seeing on June 11, 2021| 2 Comments »

Male House Sparrow in breeding colors -- Wikimedia photo

Three weeks ago, if I covered my left eye, my vision became quite blurry. Today the blur is gone and I can see better with just the right eye than I could with both eyes before – which means the Lasik and cataract removal procedures on my right eye were a success.

Monday, I get the same procedures done on the left eye and my vision hopefully will be even better. We live in a wonderful age, especially for avid readers and enthusiastic birdwatchers like me.

Six months ago, I had to enlarge my computer point from 12 point to 16 point to be able to see it comfortably. And reading small print was beyond me. As for identifying birds, that has been getting more difficult for the past few years.

I could easily tell a sparrow from a dove, both of which are plentiful around my apartment complex, but I couldn’t tell what species of sparrow I was seeing.

There are over 35 different species of sparrows in North America, but all the tiny markings that distinguish one species from another weren’t visible to my eyes. All I was seeing was one grayish mass.

That has now changed, I realized, when a few days ago I clearly saw all the details that make a common house sparrow beautiful. Because it’s so common, I think people don’t give it the credit it deserves. Perhaps that is also why, truly seeing it for the first time again, is why I was so thrilled to be able to identify it by its markings. .

Since then, I’ve also seen the yellow marking on the verdins that eat at my hummingbird feeder, and clearly seen, through my binoculars, the yellow eyes of the great horned owls that call my apartment complex home.

I’ve been updated. Yea!

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Missing a Beat

Posted in Journeys, tagged cardiologist, Heart, surgery on June 2, 2021| 5 Comments »

***Annie was right. The sun came up tomorrow. — Photo by Pat Bean***

Ten days ago, I was prepped and ready to be rolled into the operating room for surgery to remove the cataracts in my right eye when everything came to a screeching halt.

Seems the wires I was hooked up to had given the surgery team the idea that I might be having a heart attack. They were all set to call an ambulance and bundle me off to the emergency room. I insisted I felt fine, and they reluctantly released me into the care of my friend Jean to take me home.

I was pissed. I cussed. I cried. My friend stopped and bought me a special white chocolate raspberry cupcake. It helped a little.

I got in to see my primary care doctor’s nurse practioner the very next day. A second EKG – a test that tracks the beats and electrical impulses of your heart – was also abnormal and she made an immediate referral to a cardiologist.

Between the time I left the doctor’s office on Tuesday of last week and yesterday, when I saw the cardiologist (a delightful man whom I called Dr. B because I couldn’t pronounce his name), I was a bundle of nerves. I fumed and I cried. But I continued to feel fine.

That’s because, while my third EKG in a little over a week also came back abnormal, the cardiologist said it was a benign normal-abnormal and that I had a great heart. It had no blocked arteries and a good beat. The problem was just that one electrical impulse had gone rogue, so to speak.

People who know me sort of said, Duh!

Dr. B wrote a letter to my eye doctor saying I was good to go for my cataract removal – and I go in tomorrow to get the right eye done.

Wish me luck.

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Insignificant Details and Thoughts

Posted in Art, Books, Journeys, tagged journal keepers, journaling on May 31, 2021| 4 Comments »

***An insignificant watercolor that also marks the passage of my days. — Art by Pat Bean***

I just completed the last page of my current journal, whose first page was written Nov. 9, 2020. Before I put the book away, I perused back through it.

On the very first page, I had written the definition of the word pedantry, which means an excessive concern with minor details. A good word for a journal keeper, I wrote.

Here are a few other insignificant details and thoughts I wrote to mark the passage of the days.

The estimated number of insects in the world is 10 billion billion, according to David Attenborough’s book Life on Earth. He also wrote that an ancient split in the ancestry of fish means humans are more closely related to a cod than a cod is to a shark. Hmmm?

A coxcomb is a jester’s cap.

In this day and age, doubt is the only way to read social media. Duh.

Socrates lived from 470 to 399 B.C. and yet already understood that we are all in this chaotic mess together.

You can use your knuckles as a memory aid to remember what months have 31 days. You learn something new every day.

It is a shame everyone else is an idiot.

More than two dozen cars got towed because their owners ignored, or didn’t get, the memo that our apartment parking lot was being repaved.

Today, December 21, is supposed to be the shortest day of the year. But I see that the sun came up and went down at the exact time as yesterday.

The first Amazon Kindle came on the market in 2007, and sold for $399. I love my Kindle.

My good Tucson friend, Jean, was exposed to Covid. She’s a teacher. (P.S. Two weeks of isolation from her, but she didn’t come down with it, and now we both have gotten the vaccine)

Get over it. Just do it.

“Let me live, love and say it in good sentences,” – Sylvia Plath.

And with that said, I think I will now go start a new journal.

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