Pat Bean's blog

Aging My Way

The year was 1983. I was 44 and recently divorced when I bought a five-person raft. I considered it a man-toy, and was quite proud of myself.

From then until 2004, every late spring, summer and early fall would find me with friends floating one river or another, including the Snake, Salmon and the Colorado’s 225-mile stretch through the Grand Canyon twice. Running white-water rapids became my passion – and when I was in my boat, I was the caption.

With that background in mind, you can understand why I am so happily engrossed reading Where Are Your Men? It’s an anthology written by a group of women who continue in their 60s and beyond to paddle down rivers without any men. I bought the book in Moab, Utah, at a place called Back of Beyond, my favorite bookstore in the world.

The women aren’t man-haters and even dedicated their book to the men in their lives, but they understand the special dynamics that happen when women alone rely on their own strengths and talents. These, admittedly, are different from their opposite gender.

And when it comes to river-running, as the river pretty quickly taught me and which the women in the book confirmed, one can fight the current or flow with the river. As a woman, I depended on the river’s strength to put my raft in the right spot to avoid crashing into rocks, while most of the men I went down the river with depended on their own strength to keep their rafts or kayaks out of trouble.

I saw this time and time again.

Meanwhile, this is a lesson that is standing me in good stead as an 86-year-old who no longer has the strength of her younger self. More and more I’m finding different ways to accomplish daily tasks, from becoming more left-handed since my right shoulder doesn’t work properly these days, to doing harder tasks in several installments.

Thankfully, I can still read for as long as I want. And reading Where Are Your Men? lets me imagine myself sitting around a campfire with these women sharing river tales – which always get bigger with each telling.

Pat Bean is a retired award-winning journalist who lives in Tucson with her canine companion Scamp. She is an avid reader whose mind is always asking questions (many of which are unanswerable), an enthusiastic birder, staff writer for Story Circle Network’s Journal, author of Travels with Maggie available on Amazon (Free on Kindle Unlimited), and is always searching for life’s silver lining.